Joshua Ferris

Last night Bionics and I went to see Joshua Ferris, author of Then We Came to The End, read from his new book, The Unnamed. I asked Bionics to go with me since she was the one who introduced me to his first book. Since we had some time to kill before the reading started, we decided to grab a few drinks beforehand. You know how the rest goes.

We ended up downing our drinks and running over to The Strand, arriving 5 minutes late. We managed to get seats in the last row where you can just about make out what he says if you leaned slightly forward and turned your ear toward the podium. About 10 minutes into the reading I texted Bionic, who was sitting right next to me.

"Are you finding him really boring or am I just drunk?"

Bionics chuckled and texted back.

"Oh thank god. I thought I was the only one to think he was boring."

Perhaps because of the alcohol, we could not concentrate on his voice. The floor boards of the book store creaked so loudly when customers walked about the store, which was so distracting. Then a car alarm was going off outside on the street. Then a baby started crying.

"Creak, creak, creak. Meep, meep, meep. Wah, wah, wah. Creak, meep, wah!" was all we could hear above Ferris's monotone voice.

Bionics and I continued to rudely text back and forth like (drunken) teenagers at an assembly. "Clack, clack, clack."

I heard Ferris read a line where the characters drove past a Waffle House and realized I hadn't eaten dinner.

"Mmmmm waffle house," I texted.

This caused both our bodies to shake uncontrollably as we were trying to silence our giggles. We were such rude, drunk, teenagers.

I hope karma doesn't get me when it's my turn to have a reading on my book tour. Haha.

(We did purchase his new book though so that should balance the cosmics).