Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I'm judging

So I was in the sex shop on Seventh Ave yesterday looking for bachelorette party goodies. I spent quite some time in there debating between the penis wand and the light up penis glowstick, the jumbo penis cake mold or the penis cupcakes, crotchless panties or edible fruit rollup panties. I'm terrible at making decisions. I wanted them all. While I was in the store there were 3 men in there wandering around in various sections, the porn dvds, sex toys, and the S&M section. I tried to stick to the bachelorette wall, not looking over at them, as to not embarrass them. Yes, I can be very conscious of other people's feelings. I picked out what I needed, penises galore, and waited on line, the 2 guys in front of me, one which I felt I had got to the line first but he seemed to think he did. Since he was holding a vibrator and astro glide I figured perhaps he was in more of a hurry than I was. I always like to see what people are buying when I'm on line. I do this all the time at the grocery store. I look at what they buy and then judge them. Kitty litter and a bottle of wine? Total spinster. Creatine supplements and slim jims? Oh yeah, he's in the zone chief. The guy in the front of the line was buying an inflatable ass (just ass) with a hole in it and lubricant. He had a large backpack that he stuffed his purchase in. Now whenever I see someone carrying a backpack I can't help but think they have an ass with a hole in there.

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