Monday, September 29, 2008

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

It's not me. It's my boobs. Or lack thereof.

This morning on The View (oh I just had it on while I was working out) host, Joy Behar, says men don't want flat chested women. Behar adds,"Give me a man who likes flat chested women and I'd like to ask if he's gay." I knew it! I've been trying to prove that my ex is gay for years!

My sad existence

My overhead light in my apartment has been broken for over a week now. I would fill out a work order for the maintenance guys to come fix it- except I'm too embarrassed for them to come in my apartment because it looks like a landfill.

Annie's Bachelorette

12am text to Brit: I rode the bull. I peed on my arm. I love you.

I love my girls!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

African Music Festival in Brooklyn

I'm judging

So I was in the sex shop on Seventh Ave yesterday looking for bachelorette party goodies. I spent quite some time in there debating between the penis wand and the light up penis glowstick, the jumbo penis cake mold or the penis cupcakes, crotchless panties or edible fruit rollup panties. I'm terrible at making decisions. I wanted them all. While I was in the store there were 3 men in there wandering around in various sections, the porn dvds, sex toys, and the S&M section. I tried to stick to the bachelorette wall, not looking over at them, as to not embarrass them. Yes, I can be very conscious of other people's feelings. I picked out what I needed, penises galore, and waited on line, the 2 guys in front of me, one which I felt I had got to the line first but he seemed to think he did. Since he was holding a vibrator and astro glide I figured perhaps he was in more of a hurry than I was. I always like to see what people are buying when I'm on line. I do this all the time at the grocery store. I look at what they buy and then judge them. Kitty litter and a bottle of wine? Total spinster. Creatine supplements and slim jims? Oh yeah, he's in the zone chief. The guy in the front of the line was buying an inflatable ass (just ass) with a hole in it and lubricant. He had a large backpack that he stuffed his purchase in. Now whenever I see someone carrying a backpack I can't help but think they have an ass with a hole in there.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

I'm Back!!

Gahhhh. My computer crashed last week and I've seriously been going crazy. Took it to Geek Squad who was no help whatsoever. I received a piece of paper from them with the diagnosis on my laptop that read: "Hard drive bad, all other hardware good." Thanks, Geek Squad. After an agonizing, frustrating week and a half I finally have a new computer so I can continue blogging about useless tidbits from my life that no one cares about.