Tuesday, February 8, 2011

making some changes...

Hello!

Where have I been? I haven't been posting much in the past few weeks because I've been debating whether or not to continue with this blog. I began this blog as a practice for my writing, a way to stream my random thoughts, but also to learn how to get comfortable with strangers reading about my life, since that is what I write about. It took a bit getting used to at first but now I feel like I'm right back where I started, sort of. I've learned to accept criticism and the fact that not everyone will like me and I've learned to accept how vulnerable my writing makes me feel. Lately though, I guess I've been craving some privacy. What did we all do before cell phones, facebook, twitter, four square, blogs, live streams, etc? I really can't remember.

Anyway, I weighed out the pros and cons of keeping this blog;

Pros: Two of my friends really love reading it.

Cons: ...

Well, I guess the cons are just that posting about my life has been causing me a bit of anxiety. And I think I want to go in a different direction. (Can I be more vague?) But this blog has been a part of me for the past few years, practically an online journal, and I'd be sad to see it go completely. So the few of you out there that are reading this, bear with me for the next few weeks while my posting will be a bit sporadic. I'm in the middle of making some changes and I hope it'll be better when I return.

Thanks for reading!

6 comments:

Tiffany said...

Good luck with your decision!!!!!!!! I feel the same way at times, but I definitely understand the anxiety. So hopefully you come to a decision you're fully comfortable with :D

Sarah said...

I hope you keep it up. It's a "comfort" blog for me. Sometimes it's nice to know that someone out there has the same highs and lows as myself. Yet, I understand how it is to lay it all out there for the world. I still suck at it.

Bionic Woman said...

Love, Your #1, Bionic

Erikka said...

I completely understand your anxiety,your reasons for starting the blog, etc. Long story short "I FEEL YOU", lol. Criticism is hard but you have to learn how to roll with the punches. I commend you for being so open with your life and wanting to share your experiences publicly. I've always kept my writings to myself and only this year have I decided to put my stuff out there (submit to journals, enter contests, yadda,yadda)and hey, you have at least been published (nothing to sneeze at). Some of us out there, closeted writers are still waiting for that moment. More are too afraid to try. I'll leave with this bit from Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat,Pray Love)that I put on my blog:

"As for discipline – it’s important, but sort of over-rated. The more important virtue for a writer, I believe, is self-forgiveness. Because your writing will always disappoint you. Your laziness will always disappoint you. You will make vows: “I’m going to write for an hour every day,” and then you won’t do it. You will think: “I suck, I’m such a failure. I’m washed-up.” Continuing to write after that heartache of disappointment doesn’t take only discipline, but also self-forgiveness (which comes from a place of kind and encouraging and motherly love). The other thing to realize is that all writers think they suck. When I was writing “Eat, Pray, Love”, I had just as a strong a mantra of THIS SUCKS ringing through my head as anyone does when they write anything. But I had a clarion moment of truth during the process of that book. One day, when I was agonizing over how utterly bad my writing felt, I realized: “That’s actually not my problem.” The point I realized was this – I never promised the universe that I would write brilliantly; I only promised the universe that I would write. So I put my head down and sweated through it, as per my vows." -Elizabeth Gilbert

Sorry for the long comment post, and I wish you much success in whatever you decide.

PS: More than 2 people love your blog.

carebears said...

I love it and would be sad to see it go. It is a comfort but also I feel like I get to hear what you're up to.... but ever since starting my own blog with two little birds, I understand the anxiety to feel like you have to...when sometimes you don't want to! Love you and I will be here for you no matter what (but I would still miss the blog) ;)

nina said...

Thanks for the comments guys. I really appreciate them.
Erikka, thanks for the EG bit. It actually helps. : )