Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The irony

I missed my bus this morning by a split second. Like I was at the back of the bus but the guy couldn't hear me pounding on the side so he pulled away. God I hate that. I waited in the cold for 20 minutes for the next bus, and then sat in traffic for an extra 20 minutes, sweating away in my winter get-up, while the girl next to me kept huffing, sighing, and using God's name in vain to show her frustration of being stuck in traffic. I mean, what is the point of that? It's not like the bus is gonna move faster or the traffic's gonna just part for her because she's cursing. It's not like no one else on the bus is late and also frustrated or sweating profusely. Then when we pulled into the bus station, people were getting off one by one, starting from the front, as always. And you're supposed to remain seated until it's your turn to get off. But the girl next to me kept inching closer to me, still huffing, and glaring at me to get up. And I realize the irony as these words were coming out of my mouth when I turned to her and said, "Calm the fuck down bitch. We're all late for work. It doesn't mean that you have to forget your manners!"

I still love you Dani!

I can't believe after that totally kick-ass singing performance by Dani Tila still did not pick her. What is wrong with you? I loved Dani before but after that crunk rap shit she did I loved her even more. Seriously, she makes me question my sexuality. Am I straight, lesbian, or maybe bi like Tila? Maybe I need to go on a similar show to reach my answers? Or maybe Dani would have her own show called Do you Dig My Box? OMG. I'm gonna go make my tryout video right now.

A spinster for life?

With so many people getting married lately I can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me that I'm not even close to being engaged. Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to get married in the next few years, if ever, but I guess I'm just wondering why the offer has never really been on the table, if say, I did ever want to get married. I'm content right now but I'm worried that say when I am ready in a few years...the offer wouldn't be out there because I'm not "marriage material." I've heard of labels like "not the girl you bring home to mom"...could this be me? I asked my brother, since he recently got married, and knows me better than anyone else, if this was the case. While he claimed to not know what "marriage material" really entailed...he told me that I was a bit "difficult to understand." How could this be? I mean my blog is like an open journal for all to see. What's not to understand? He said perhaps he worded it wrong. You're "complicated" he said. "You not a typical American girl," he further explained,"you're exotic." Exotic girls don't get rings? "You're intimidating," he added as he seemed to be digging a deeper hole. Could this have anything to with my all-black wardrobe and my "go fuck yourself" snarl? I tell him I'm worried that perhaps I'm not girly enough. Or not the Martha Stewart domestic-dumb-flirty-live by The Rules type of girl enough. He tells me being more girly and flirty could help. I can totally do that!- I tell him- Starting today! Like Awesome! He tells me he said be flirty, not blonde. I can picture him sitting at the computer shaking his head with his hand on his forehead as he tells me we need to sit down and have a serious talk. Uh oh.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

I love you Dani!

Is it just me or is Dani (the lesbo chick trying to win Tila Tequila's heart on Shot at Love) super hot? I've never had lesbian desires, and to the best of my recollection I've never kissed a girl- but then again I just think Dani looks like a hot guy-so does that count? If she ever had her own show I'd totally go on it to win her heart.

Don't Drink and Speak!

Rat Face Boy with rank breath at the bar told me (while spitting in my ear) that I was the sweetest girl he's ever met. Look at that! Me! The sweetest girl! In fact to quote him verbatim he said, "You are just so cute. You're like a gummi bear wrapped up in a jelly bean. I just want to take you out....for sushi." Apparently this ice queen has thawed out! Who knows. Maybe I'll start talking like Tila Tequila. I could do it. My voice is definitely as deep as hers. I just have to add some cali to it and say things like, "I will not be played for a fool (pronounced with 2 syllables)," and "Your shot of lo-ove, has ended." And I would have to walk around in bikinis and knee highs. Shit, I would need to go tanning. And I would only accept dates after you win a pie eating contest. I could do it. It's Nina Tequila bitch!

Saturday, December 1, 2007

My Brother, My Hero

My brother left for Afghanistan on Thursday. I don't tell him this often enough but I am so proud of him for the man he's grown up to be. I mean, he went from a teenage delinquent who chased any of my potential suitors with a butcher knife- to someone who watches over me and my mom, lends me rent money when needed, sends me the most awesome b-day & Xmas gifts, and volunteers to clean up my puke from the backseat of his wife's car. If he's not already your hero he should be.

WE Vote '08 Party

(stalker shot)

I covered WE tv's WE Vote '08 campaign launch party on Wednesday at Tenjune. I can say I've never been starstruck before (unless you count 2 weeks ago when I saw Alicia Keys playing at the 5th Ave Apple Store, and I may have pushed some preteens out of the way to get a picture on my camera phone)- until I interviewed Susan Sarandon at the party. She carried herself as such a strong, independent, and intelligent woman (move over Angelina, I've got a new crush!) while chatting with me about her family values and political views. I also interviewed Kerry Washington (amazing skin), Damien Fahey (surprisingly hot), Chad Doveck from Altar Boyz (so cute but perhaps not so interested in women ?), and my new best friend Malan Breton from Project Runway. Perhaps he pitied me, perhaps he thought I was following him,-whatever the reason- he spent a lot of time chatting with me at the bar and he was the most charming, sweetest person at the party.