Do opposites really attract?

After the end of one of my relationships, my friends would always comment that they never really saw us as a fit. This usually surprises me because I’ve never had a physical type. The only connection between the exes was that they had great senses of humor and that they were nothing like me; different backgrounds, religions, and interests.

I always looked for someone different than me so that they could show me new things, have different interests, keep things interesting, and balance me out. Hence why I’ve never really dated an Asian, a writer, or someone who is unpredictable. I’ve always gone for someone who was more down to earth and works more conventional hours.

I love it when I meet someone who has a different passion than me whether it be someone who snowboards, goes to punk shows, or loves hiking. All things that I don’t do on my free time but would love to if I had someone to go with and share their passion with me.

The other day I asked my male friend, P, how his last date went. He took a swig of his beer, shrugged, and said, “We didn’t have that much in common.” I pressed a little more and he says she was more of a socialista on weekends while he preferred more low key nights. How hypocritical I thought. I mean, they met while they were both out at a fashion show after party. Had she been home having a movie night, they never would have met.

One of my last dates dismissed me the same way, citing we didn’t have that much in common. Are men looking for clones of themselves? My guy friends pick out the most glamorous girl in the bar but then wished she enjoyed beer and pizzas in a pub.

My ex boyfriend from years ago was my best friend in the world and we were as different as night and day. He was laid back and I was impatient. He loved fattening take out and I wanted fancy dinners. He was calm and I always worried. He was a music snob and my Napster playlist consisted of Nelly, Boyz II Men, and really bad pop, something he continuously ragged on me about. He had this romanticized idea of moving to the Midwest and living on a farm. I wanted to own the entire island of Manhattan. He was an inner child. I had the soul of an 80 year old. I always felt we lasted as long as we did because we were so different. We always ended up compromising and had a great balance. He bought me tickets to Zootopia for my birthday one year, and smiled at me as if I was the most ridiculous girl alive, singing my heart out to Britney Spears, amongst a sea of tweens. We would order enough Cluck U to cater a frat party and eat happily with our pants unbuttoned in front of the telly. We were always doing things, even as simple as getting greasy takeout, that we wouldn’t normally be doing if we weren’t together.

Morals and values are the only things that I require to be in sync. I was raised with Thai and Buddhist beliefs and while my kids don’t have to be Buddhist I need them to understand the respect for elders and community. I dated a guy who rewarded his daughter with whatever her tantrums desired. She became a spoiled brat, learning to cry and scream until she got what she wanted. I would be more strict, the way my parents were with me (and look how great I turned out : )).

In the end though, my Opposites ex and I aren’t together. So, I wonder if what I thought had kept us together for so long, was ultimately also our demise.

I am just looking for someone who can be the common sense to my nonsense. Wouldn't that be found in someone who's opposite of me?

What do you guys think? Do you look for someone who is just like you and has the same interests? Are any of you in a relationship right now with someone who is your opposite?