Dear MTV:

I watched a rerun of True Life: I'm a Jersey Shore Girl this morning while eating and almost lost my breakfast as a result of watching your poorly researched and completely inaccurate depiction of a true "jersey shore girl." It should have been called "True Life: I'm a BENNY"! Or to be even more accurate, "True Life: I'm a stupid neon tube top- platform flip flop- shirts that say Drama Queen and Princess-too much eye makeup wearing, midriff bearing, fake tanning, acrylic nails, no class, slutty ass, fist pumping, flat ironing, summer house renting, think I'm hot cause I have a belly ring ho from NORTH JERSEY. Now that would be more accurate. Thank you, half-wits, for giving the real shore girls a bad name.