Going Out to Bars 101

Things you may not know if you've never worked in a bar, known someone who does, or are just a complete social moron who doesn't know how to act properly in any situation... I'm here to help! These tips are not in any order of importance. They are all important- so read on and stop committing these bar violations!

First, let me explain to you the role of a cocktail waitress in case you don't know. She serves cocktails. Not too difficult to understand right? It means she also serves some small plates but is not considered a waitress therefore, no, she doesn't know what type of dressing is in the salad nor does she have recommendations. It means when you (a customer) come to sit down at a table at her section she walks over, greets you (either verbally or with a nod or just by standing in front of you), and takes your drink order. She then has to walk over to a little computer and put your order in and then she walks over to her service station (a spot at the bar where no customers are allowed to stand - ever!) and she waits for a bartender to make the drinks and when the bartender does so, she puts the drinks on the tray and brings them over to you. This leads to our first tip

Tip #1: After a waitress hands you your drinks she will ask you for some form of payment. Surprise! These drinks aren't free! Nor do we have some type of magical telepathic memory system different from the bartenders where we just memorize what you drank, who you are, and we'll just charge you later on. We ask upfront, just like bartenders do, we say, "Would you like to start a tab, or pay cash?" Or if you're in a hotel bar we ask, "Would you like to do a room charge or put it on a credit card?" We, as cocktail servers, do not care how you would like to pay- Just fucking pay! And no, we are not undermining your morals by asking to hold a credit card- We know you would never walk out without paying. You see, in a bar, people tend to get up and walk around. The bar tends to get very crowded making it very difficult for your waitress to find you. Not to mention you don't really stand out at all so she can't even recognized you out of a crowd. But bottom line is people get drunk at bars. You may be Honest Abe when you're sober but you're an F'in Retard when you're drunk and you tend to "forget" about your tab and walk out without paying. Thus, a credit card tab, or pay by drink.

In addition, please keep your jokes to yourself. I can assure you, we've heard it all a million times. "Put it on that guys tab." Hur hur hurrrr. "Well I'd love to do a room charge, if I had a room here! I'm not a guest!" Guffaw guffaw. "Don't put your drinks on my tab!" LMAO!! Seriously. Suck my butt. Shut up and PAY!