Sunday, October 24, 2010


This weekend I was looking forward to going to Jersey to see my girlfriends. I was exhausted and low on funds but I see them so rarely that I had to go. Romy picked me up from the train station and we went to a new bar in town to wait for the other girls. I swear, when I get off the train from New York and walk straight into a Jersey bar I always get culture shocked. I'm not trying to sound like a city snob but when I'm in a bar full of Jerseyians I feel like I'm in a foreign country. I couldn't believe how many cougars were out; bleached, tanned, and wrinkled wearing Harley Davidson leather and miniskirts. Oh my! I turned to Romy and said, "Please snipe me if I'm still single at that age, dressing like that, and prowling a college bar for a lay." Good lord. Then I looked at the bartenders and saw that they all had serious cleavage, spray tans, tramp stamps, and their t-shirts knotted in the back so that an inch of their hip shows. I looked around the bar and noticed this back-knot-exposed-hip seemed to be a trend. An unflattering one. Please do not attempt this look unless you're a shot girl. Oh speaking of shot girl...I have not been to a bar that had a shot girl since college...And I couldn't believe I was last night.

As I was standing in the bar staring in disbelief at all the stereotypes standing together in one room, a guy I didn't know handed me a shot and said, "Here's a shot for're welcome," and walked away. I looked down at the shot and turned around to see where the guy went. That can't be good right? A stranger hands you a shot and doesn't stick around to hit on you? I imagined him watching me from afar, waiting for the moment right before my head was going to hit the ground. I love a free shot but something told me I should pass on that one. The trouble was, it was one of those shots bought from a shot girl that comes in a test tube. I couldn't set the tube down on the bar without it's (mysterious) contents spilling all over. So there I was just holding this possibly roofie filled shot. It provided some comedic moments as I tried to hand it off to someone else. Apparently girls don't hand guys shots often. I was met with dubious looks, a sniff of the tube, and the following questions, "Wait, why aren't you taking it?" "So wait, you want to see if I get poisoned?" "Why don't we all have a little bit?" "So we should all get clubbed and raped together?" I was finally able to find and empty pint glass to drop the tube in. Entertainment temporarily halted.

Romy and I decided to ditch the meathead-fest reminiscent of college and head to a nearby pub to meet our girlfriends. When we walked out we saw the line formed down the street to get into the bar we were just at. We were all the coolest party in town and didn't even know it. "It's not that great, guys," we yelled over our shoulders.

The pub was a little low key for us but it gave us a chance to drink for cheap and catch up. I've known these girls for 16 years and the stories that come up each time are just priceless. Then this walked in...

Russell Brand and Katy Perry!!! Carebears and her husband had come from a costume party and had us laughing for at least ten minutes straight. This couple's costume idea may have multiplied my love and admiration for them by a million. We told them they had the best costumes this Halloween and they answered that it wasn't even Halloween yet. Exactly. They've set the bar. I must've taken 100 pictures of Russell...

I had to rush back to NYC today because I have a million things to do...but I was sad to leave my friends and Jersey. As much as I poke fun of Jersey, and complain about the annoying journey to get there, and as much as I feel like a four headed alien when I'm there, it somehow has a way of making me feel comforted. The memories that are conjured by certain places ("hey remember the time we were here and...") always seem to surprise me. And the's that feeling of no matter how long you've been gone or what's happened in your can return and Jersey will always be...Jersey.

And of course my girlfriends...I say this after every time I see them...which is still just never enough...My heart is filled with so much love when they're around and I feel like no matter where we've been, or where we move, and no matter where we are...I feel like I'm at home when I'm with them.

1 comment:

carebears said...

Aww... you are home to me too!