Thursday, March 31, 2011
hang on, keep going
I know I'm supposed to feel relaxed and refreshed after a short holiday but I was feeling so stressed yesterday. Maybe it was the fact that I had to snap back into reality. My schedule lately has been so jam packed that I'm just feeling overwhelmed. I came home from work last night (after my first day back, mind you) and needed to let out a good cry. I wasn't even sure what I was crying about. I'm tired? Confused? Worried?
I've been blindly navigating myself through life and I feel like most of my decisions are made with as much thought as flipping a coin. But later I always worry, did I do the right thing? I worry, with all this time I'm putting into work, that I'm only able to stay afloat, only moving laterally with no time to make efforts to move ahead. Does that make sense?
So after my big cry I felt pretty silly because, like I said, I wasn't really sure what I was crying about. I went to bed, got up, went to work, and did it all over again. And you know what? Today was a much better day. I've been told many times before, during my reoccurring freak out moments, to breathe and just take it one day at a time. But isn't it funny, when you're given this advice, it seems impossible because it's just too simple of a solution.But then, when you actually follow the advice, it seems like the most natural act and you take credit for handling it all on your own. At least, that's the pattern for me.
Today, I discovered An Awesome Book, and while it's written for children I thought it's so fitting for how I'm feeling. It's a book that tells children to dream big, as big as they can imagine, and not be limited by everyday desires. It's funny how our young minds used to think anything was possible and now we usually think up all the reasons why these dreams aren't possible. I think I'm actually going to buy the book because, although the message seems so simple, it's easily forgotten.