Friday, February 22, 2008

Catch me on ESPN 2

I'm a pathological liar. Well, no, actually, I'm just a ballbuster. I make deadpan jokes, thinking there's no way anyone's gullible enough to believe me, but then when they actually do I just think this is just way too much fun.

Example: I was having drinks at Whiskey Blue last night. I had come from work so I had a large Puma bowling bag filled with work clothes. A man was trying to get to the bar to get a drink and my bag was on the ground in his way, though I knew he would not see it.
Me: Hey, sorry, watch out for my bowling bag.
Gullible Man: You bowl?
Me: Why yes.
GM: Are you any good?
Me: Yes, I'm professional.
GM: Really?
Me: I mean, I don't want to like name drop my own name and all, but yes, I'm kinda a big deal in the bowling world.
GM: Wow, I've never met a female professional bowler. I mean, no offense, but it's not exactly the most interesting sport to watch on TV.
Me: None taken, I know it's up there with watching cockroach racing.
GM: (laughs) How much do you train for this? (A lot) Are you on tour right now? (Yes)What's the tour schedule like? (Rough)Can you show me your technique? (No) How did you get into bowling? (I like tossing big heavy balls) Would I see you on ESPN 2? (Yes) I don't know much about bowling but is it really that competitive?
Me: (dramatic pause) Well, I wouldn't necessarily say it's that competitive. But in general, whenever you're doing something you absolutely love, as I am, you always want to be your personal best. So I'm just in a constant competition with myself, trying to do better than my best.
GM: Wow- I hear you completely.
Me: Listen, buddy, it's been great chatting with you, but I don't want to neglect my friends. Take down my name- That's Nina, like the boat. Last name Christensen- that's Christ E-N-S-E-N and catch me on TV.

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