Last Friday

Upon waking up at 11am the first voice I heard was a message from yet another ex who decided we can no longer be friends. WTF? - The last voice I heard was at 8am on a train ride home when I sat down next to a man who said, "Excuse me, Miss? Miss? I just wanted to tell you that I smell really bad. I've been out clubbing and dancing all night and that's why I smell so bad. I just wanted to tell you." And he went back to sleep. (Smelling really bad was such an understatement- it was more like nose-hair singeing pungent sour milk glazed feet)

And so, you can just imagine the hours between 11am Friday- 8am Saturday- just the type of day I had. Work was really slow on top of the terrible night I was having. What is the answer to this problem? Alcohol of course! After mystery shots and dirty martinis, Brittany and I headed to PS- where we could continue getting shitfaced on a budget and also still be in our work attire. SDW was just getting off and informed us her boyfriend was at Touch spending 5K on bottles so we cabbed it on over- not without me flashing Park Ave Britney style of course. (Getting out of cabs in a skirt is NOT as easy as it looks!) We got to Touch and were told they weren't letting anymore people in because it was 3am. Seriously? So SDW pulled on of those, "My boyfriend is spending a lot of fucking money here, you better let us in." And it worked. We drank some more- Brittany and SDW got in more arguments with the bouncer (Tiny) who was rather hostile- I was way too drunk to speak- we decided to go to the diner-but not without Brittany making sure they knew it was not the last they would be hearing from us! Got to diner- one of the guys puts a bottle of vodka with a pour on the table. "Vat? I paid a lot of money for zeez! I'm going to fineez drinking zeez!" said SDW's boyfriend's German friend. Rock on. Waiter comes, giggle fits, "Hi can we have 3 large OJ's, 3 large cranberry juices, and 6 glasses of ice? Thanks!" And Brittany proceeds to make us very strong drinks while we dig into our eggs. Mmmm. While the night should have ended there- Ze Germans invited us to "Ze Party After" and while I was plenty liquored up and free alcohol is not that hard to come by, I still could not turn down free alcohol. So off to ze after party ve vent! More drinks, John Travolta dancing on TV, German pop hits in the background-I was reaching my limit and began to drift off. Must sleep- don't worry about me- everyone have a good time- just a few minutes please....zzzzzzz. Before I got too comfortable though, at 8am- Brittany and I decided to leave. We stepped out into the daylight, snow flurries blowing around, street workers just starting their days, as 2 girls clad in black and smeared makeup decided it was time to end theirs.