Monday, April 20, 2009

Rainy day tears

I've had a lot going on lately; job loss, giving up my apartment, moving, etc. I slept in my apartment for the last time last night. I laid on the borrowed air mattress in an empty room and was hit with a wave of sadness. Isn't it ironic? I feel like I've come full circle. This is exactly how it was when I moved in. I didn't have my furniture yet and was sleeping on the same borrowed mattress in an empty room.

I thought about TA. I wanted him to come over. Of course, he couldn't. I saw him the other day and I wonder if it will be our last time. He began as a rebound. Over a year later, I think I've fallen for the guy I've always known was all wrong for me. As much as I try to deny it to myself, I'm really going to miss him.

Rain poured down in the city today and as I walked down the street, umbrella-less and luggage in tow, the tears followed. I tried to stop, but I was soaked from head to toe, no one noticed my face was wet from tears and not the rain.

I stayed with Wifey last night. Sometimes you really have to stop and take a look at what you have and really be thankful for it. I have no home and my family is far away; my friends are my family. Wifey, someone who had recently only been in my life for 4 months, took me into her home, dried my eyes, listened to my troubles, hugged me, fed me, and loved me. Her mother made sure my glass of vodka was never empty. I felt so comforted. I felt at home, again, on the air mattress that they had lent me.

Later, she helped lighten my baggage, metaphorically and literally. As I held up random things, a hair curler, 2 hats, a bottle of wine, some skanky shirts, she looked up briefly and with a quick shake of her head said, "Yes, no, no, no, yes." In 5 seconds she managed to do what I couldn't do over days. I said, "This is why I should just marry you. You are the common sense to my nonsense."


Al said...

its awesome when you find friends that have such a great effect in such a short time!!

everything will be okay in the end, if its not okay, its not the end!!

Kim said...

Those types of friends make life livable.

The Novelista Barista said...

awe, u are lucky to have a great friend like that in your life! keep them because those are hard to find.