Most of you guys might remember my annoyance with the pity-date-gone-wrong, C, the Nose Blower who used way too many smiley faces when he sent his corny 3 page texts and was just a little too eager. He was very nice, which made me feel very bad.
A little while back, I had another guy who was also getting on my nerves, committing the similar offense of being just too nice. He would call when he said he would, sent 4 texts to my 1, and showered me with the sweetest compliments ever. I asked Mary if there was something wrong with me because his niceness made me feel violent. Well, nauseous first, then violent.
Am I being a hypocrite here? I'm always complaining that there are no nice guys in New York, that they never call, or never rightfully worship the ground I walk on. But then a nice guy comes along and I can hardly fight the intense urge to smash his face in. What's up with that? Am I being a total guy and am just out for the chase?
Yesterday, A sent me this funny article on dating that raises the question of whether a guy can be too nice. I think I've had nice guys that have fallen into the first three categories mentioned in the article:
1) He's so nice he can only be a friend.
There was this one guy that was just so nice that he never made a move, even though I knew he liked me. Since he never flirted I just didn't know how I would feel if we crossed the "friend zone."
2) He's so nice, he's not challenging enough.
I may be a challenge chaser after all. If they call too much, too soon, it kind of takes away that excitement you feel when you see that you had a missed call from the person or a text. You know they'll be there, which leads to #3.
3) He's so nice, he'll always be there.
A couple years ago I had met this guy that was a total package but I knew that he was a super nice guy and that he was very into me. I had just gotten out of a relationship and didn't want to get into something serious, which I knew, with this guy, it would be serious. So I put him on the back burner.
Am I totally backwards here? How do I get past the urge punch these guys in the face?
1 comment:
Ok, well right now I'm dating a SUPER nice guy...not my normal taste AT ALL (i have all same symptoms as you when it comes to the guys i'm attracted to).
But with this guy, the sexual chemistry is so intense that his niceness not only doesn't annoy me, but i really enjoy it.
So the lesson I've learned is that it's not that I'm not attracted to nice guys, it's that I've never had a real sexual chemistry w/ one before - prob b/c most nice guys aren't choosing to not play the game b/c they're nice, but it's that they actually don't know how to.
But I can testify, there are in fact nice guys out there that know how to seduce a woman. And they're nice because they choose to be, not b/c they're too needy, awkward, or desperate to be any other way.
-Britt J
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