Wednesday, November 25, 2009

let's address the roach in the room...

I was taking a break from work on Monday to watch Friday Night Lights (again) with my roommates. My mind was jumping between thoughts of what it would be like to date Taylor Kitsch, how much I love my roommates, and how awesome and cozy my apartment is. Just then I felt something on my neck, went to scratch it, and felt that it was a cockroach crawling on me. Yeah. I screamed. A lot.

When Joe's Apartment, an MTV short about guy who lives in a roach infested apartment in New York, was created over a decade ago my first thought was, "Gross." My second was, "No one lives like that." On Monday, I sadly came to the realization that I am living in the real life Queens edition of Joe's Apartment. I hate to share this with you because one, it's obviously gross, and two, it's rather embarrassing. Did I imagine I would be 27, single, living off of ramen, vodka, and coffee, and cohabiting with roaches? Not as glamorous as I had imagined.

Remember the scene when Joe brings a date back to the apartment and the roaches are hanging on the ceiling light trying to get a better look when they all come falling down on the date's lap? A less traumatizing scene flashes before my eyes when I think about inviting someone over for dinner. My date would compliment me on what a great cook I am and how stunning (my fave) I am. He would look up at me and pause, realizing how crazy he is about me. We're silent, looking into each other's eyes, and he's about to say something. Just then something catches our eye. A mid-sized cockroach strolling past the table on the kitchen wall. Not so dramatic, perhaps not even a deal-breaker, but def a mood killer.

Consider me Nina Plus 1(,000). Roaches, that is.

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