Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Cyndi Lauper outlook on dating

(Photograph by the talented Kate Connolly)

I was working at the bar last night when I overheard these two girls talking about dating. The blonde said to her friend, "I wouldn't date him if I didn't see marriage in the future. It's not like I'm rushing down the aisle tomorrow or anything, but I just wouldn't continue with something if that wasn't a possibility in the future. I wouldn't even go on a second date if that was the case."

One of my girlfriends called me last night to recap her date. "Um, yeah, it was fun," she said, without too much enthusiasm. "He was really cute and we had a good time, but he's not for long term." I knew exactly what she meant without her having to explain it. She didn't see him fitting in her life further down the road.

I, too, believe that it only takes one date to know if there is a possibility of marriage in the future. Obviously, it takes a lot more dates to know for sure. But I'm not as quick to move on as the girl in the bar. I have been know to say, after many dates, "Eh, I don't really see a future." The difference, though, is that I add, "But he's fun for now." The last "Fun for Now" guy turned out to be an ill-suited-baggage filled-this relationship-is-going-nowhwere boyfriend of two years.

I'm not someone who fares well with planning ahead. I seem to have an endless supply of FFN's, "Fun for Nows," and not enough FH's, "Future Husbands."

Do you guys move on if you see no future after a few dates? Or do you keep them around for fun?


Anonymous said...

As some one who's already married and married to the person who was the "fun for now" person when we began - it takes more than one date to know if they're going to FFN or FH. Much like your recap on your date last week, what if your first date happened on a night when you weren't "on"? Shouldn't you be given another shot? Forever love is like lotto, you gotta be in it to win it.

Stephanie said...

I've had a series of FFN's. I'm trying to change it up- kinda :D