Sunday, April 4, 2010

dreams, not the good kind

I had a really disturbing dream last night. Perhaps it could be blamed on the bottle of wine I drank mixed with my anger at The Boy, my friends, and just the world in general. (I am so dramatic). So here's how the nightmare went down. I was laying in bed in my apartment when I heard a lot of noise outside. I looked out my window and was startled by a bunch of obnoxious guys partying on my balcony. I told them to shut the hell up and they got violent and started trying to break into my windows. Of course none of my windows would lock. I started screaming and crying and calling my brother for help. I ran into the other rooms in my apartment and it was pitch black and I couldn't see anything. But I could make out some people sleeping and I assumed one was my brother and I tried to shake him awake. But when I did it turned out to be one of the guys attacking me. So then I ran and ran through my apartment and was going to escape through the balcony. But when I stepped out the balcony was no longer there and I was all of a sudden living on the 80th floor. I fell out the window but was able to grab on to a ledge. I looked down and as I was struggling to hang on I thought, "I can't die like this. Not now. I haven't accomplished half the things I set out to do." But then I couldn't hold on anymore and I let go and began falling. I screamed and cried the entire way down, scared and bracing myself for the pain of hitting the ground. But then halfway down I stopped screaming and thought it was meant to be and I closed my eyes as if I was going to sleep and said, "I did my best."

UM. How sad and scary is that? What do you think it means??

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