Friday, April 2, 2010

hot tub time machine

I had a really strange day. I was up at 7:30 AM which was the first sign that today was not going to be normal. I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I feel like my Six Word Memoir should be called "Unemployed, depressed, and lives with roaches." Or it can sometimes be called "Unemployed, depressed, and never misses Oprah." Sigh. Such is my life.

I had a second meeting with NBC today. It was really fun and interesting and I thought it went really well. I guess all I do now is wait.

I stopped home and then rushed off to meet The Boy and his friends for gyros and then a movie. We went to see Hot Tub Time Machine. I hadn't seen any previews and skimmed over a review that I couldn't remember whether it was a good review or a bad one and so I had no idea what I was getting into. The Boy was extremely excited and quoting the movie with his friends from the previews. It was a retardedly good laugh. There was this one scene when a character says he'd text a girl and she was like "what is that" (because it was the 80's) and he was like "well how would I get in touch with you" and she was like "you find me" and he was like "wow, that sounds exhausting." It made me chuckle because technology has really changed us to the point that we can't comprehend how to communicate without it.

After the movie The Boy drove me home and I was a bit confused and disappointed because I had assumed I was staying over with him. I guess we're still at the stage where nothing can be assumed. I get frustrated with him because sometimes I would be floating on clouds smitten over him and he would come and kick that cloud out from under me. He's not ready for a relationship since he had just gotten out of one so whenever we seem to be moving too fast he puts a stop to it. But when it comes down to it I don't know if I'm ready for one either which makes me enjoy my time with him because I know the boyfriend-girlfriend talk wouldn't come for a long time.

When I got home I noticed I had a missed call from an unlisted number and when I listened to the voicemail it was S from London. S, to bring you up to date, is someone I was extremely crazy about but he lives in London and I live in New York and if he doesn't move here or doesn't invite me to move there then we really can't have a relationship. I kept the attitude of "if it's meant to be it will be" with him and continued living my life, knowing how I feel about him, and hoped that our paths would merge eventually. I didn't want to forget him but I didn't want to be holding on to something that didn't exist either so I tried not to think about him. But he calls a few times every month and hearing his beautiful voice drives me to think about white dresses and babies all over again. Gah. Sometimes I wish there was someone with the Master List who could tell you all of the choices you should make in life. Wouldn't that be easier?

I need a glass of wine and maybe a soak in a hot tub time machine. I would prefer to go into the future though. Fast forward past all of these uncertain times to where I am employed and happily settled into a cozy home with the man I'm supposed to be with.

(me and my girls in the hot tub in Vermont)

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I always try to remind myself that it's the journey and not the destination that makes us who we are.