D-Bag Rewards Program- Are you a Bag Holder?

Every brand/store/company has some type of rewards program from frequent flier miles to the bean card at Hale and Hearty soups- after every 10 soups you get one free...There really should be a Douche-Bag Rewards Program. For every hundred douch bag that hits on me I get 1 free man with a self deprecating sense of humor and mojo, who challenges me and laughs with/at me but wants to treat me like the fabulous person that I am. There could be like a punch card to keep track of it and once you get 100 holes in the shape of penises you can cash it in for a real man. No? It doesn't work this way? Dammit.