On being Nina:

Where should I begin? It is now Tuesday and I had been drinking since last Wednesday. I've also been wearing the same outfit since Saturday with a couple of showers in between. I don't remember getting home Thursday night but clearly I made it home since I woke up in my bedroom (which also functions as a landfill) on Friday morning. I had an 11am appointment at H&R Block to get my taxes did- still laying in bed at 10:30am wondering how I could make the room stop spinning. I couldn't solve that issue so I called the Block at 10:48am with my raspy man voice to cancel. What a waste I am.

So fast forward to last night. I was home in Jersey visiting the woman who created me when my girlfriend C called to tell me she was in NYC. It's been too long since I've seen her, especially on my turf, so I hopped the next train back to NYC. We met at my bar for a few martinis and then headed to Johnny Utah's to show her the reason why I often wake up in the wrong city, get no sleep, taste like tequila, and basically resemble a crack whore without ever actually dabbling in the habit. Ah yes, well mission accomplished. We were just going to have "one blue moon" there and "show her the place" but a couple of hours (or a few minutes, I have no idea) later and we were confirmed drunkards. We made it back to the fancy Waldorf where her company had put her up and were seriously tipped over on the class scale. I stumbled into the elevator and one guy gave me the "Wow you're a hot mess" look and I nodded confirming that I am fully aware of what I mess I was and added a "Yeah, fuck you," with the finger. Then I got off the elevator and body checked some guy who was walking next to me in to the wall- just because I felt like it.

Back at the room- after drunk dialing her boyfriend and removing our pants (not sure why)- we decided to order $70 worth of room service (which only included 1 Cheesesteak and 1 pizza) and raided the bar. Ah the indulgence. By the way does anyone know just how terribly uncomfortable it is to sleep in a bed full of potato chip crumbs? Try eating an entire can of Pringles and then sleeping in the bed after. Those little crumbs pierce your legs and ass like shards of glass! I had a moment of delusion when I thought it would be a good idea to try to go back out but I took one look at myself in the mirror and thankfully could still see straight enough to see just how hid-e-odous I looked and that made me decide to stay put. While C wasn't the partner I had hoped to share a bed at the Waldorf with I sure do love staying in hotels. Until I woke up at 6am -my mouth feeling like I've just swallowed a fistful of sand- realizing I need to make it back to Hoboken for my rescheduled tax prep appointment at 10am. Why have I not learned my lesson to stop booking anything before my functioning hour of 1pm? But how was I to know I was going to go on yet another drinking binge on a Monday? Well, alas, and quite impressively, I made it to the appt and am getting a pretty nice return from The Man. Hollerrr!