resident party girl

My biggest fear is...ok well I have a lot of fears...but a fear of mine is becoming that lame girl if when I'm in a relationship. I am still single but the other day, during an awesome Easter bbq, Little One told me she felt she hasn't seen much of me lately because of The Boy. Eeeeeep! I never wanted to be that person. In the past few years the number of single girlfriends I have has been dropping like stripper panties and inevitably I saw each of them less and less. I remember being out at the bars with the few single amigas I had left, vodka glass tipping in my hand, and saying, "I don't get it. I'm still going to want to go out when I have a boyfriend." And with that we clinked our glasses to mark my words.

Conversely, I've also noticed in the past few years that more and more people refer to me as a "party girl" and it didn't sound like a compliment. I wondered, "What makes them think that? Just because I go out a few days a week? Or because my facebook photos are always of parties? I mean, I'm not gonna post pictures of me spending hours at my desk trying to type out my book, am I?" I felt like I was being mislabeled and suspected that the suitors weren't lining up for me because a party girl seems like the antithesis of the "girlfriend type."

A few months ago, a boy named Chapter 9 asked me if I brushed my teeth in the morning with a bottle of Jack, referencing the singer, Ke$ha. He said when he first heard the song, Tik Tok, he thought of me and wondered if I was going to start putting dollar signs in my name. I tried to defend myself, wanting him to see me as girlfriend material. I mean, doesn't everyone wake up feeling like P. Diddy?

Lately though, before The Boy and all the movie nights and snuggles, I began to reassess this party girl label I've been given. After yet another night of returning home while others were heading to work, wearing my shoes on the wrong feet, I thought maybe people had a better vantage point, from the outside looking in. Perhaps I am a party girl. Do I have trouble turning down a drink? Do I dance on any platform that I could balance on in heels? Do I sometimes wake up in another state next to a farm animal? Yes. Yes. Yes. and No. So, I'm always up for a good time. If that makes me a party girl, then so be it.

I recently read the April issue of Maxim where Ke$ha was asked in a interview if she was a party girl. She answered, "That depends. You've got to define 'party girl.' If you mean I'm a walking good time, then hells yeah. But I'm not wasted and stumbling out of clubs and getting DUIs. I'm not that kind of party girl. I may be blonde and fun as balls, but I'm not a moron."

The label, "party girl," has a negative connotation, often confused with "sloppy drunk" or "tranny hot mess." But it doesn't have to be that. Why can't it just be someone who likes to have a good time. And there's nothing wrong with that, right? I've gone out with Little One the past two nights and I woke up in my bed today at 5:30 PM (yes, in the evening), naked, with a Barnes & Noble gift card stuck to my arm. That's right. I'm fun as balls. And you can suck it.