have a great weekend!

I can't believe how much snow we've gotten already and it's still going. I've always hated snow but this season I'm finding it so beautiful. Maybe because I'm able to stay home and watch it from my window. I'd love to drink some Glüwein (hot spiced wine) and snuggle up with The Shack (the book I'm currently reading) but tonight I'm going to meet some friends for drinks in the East Village and dinner at Stanton Social.

Hope you have a lovely weekend filled with hot cocoa, snuggles, and snow covered branches.

Utah booked!

In a moment of temporary insanity I booked tickets to Utah yesterday. Am I unemployed? Yes. Am I broke? Yes. Well, now you can add crazy to that checklist.



My girlfriends and I have been trying to plan a getaway and this seemed to be the cheapest option that also fit into our their calendar. After haggling with Priceline Negotiator for an hour I put in my credit card info to purchase and crossed my fingers that it wouldn't decline. The tickets were over my balance limit by $6 so I needed to pay this months bill early for it to work. But before I paid the credit card bill I needed to check my bank account to make sure I had enough money.

The boy said to me, "Maybe this isn't a good time to be booking a trip if you need to check your accounts to see if you have enough money." I told him, "Please just let me live in la la land for a little bit longer."

3 weeks till Utah! la la la...

francophilia

With all the sick days I've had lately I've had plenty to time to catch up on movies and TV shows. I've watched a lot of Seinfeld reruns (does it ever get old?) and finished season 2 of Californication. I also watched a random selection of movies (Hitch, Eagle Eye, Harry Potter) and last night I finally gave in to watching Julie & Julia.


At first, I thought it would be an entire movie about cooking that would bore me to death. A movie about cooking it was, bored to death, I wasn't. It was an adorable film and I love that it was partly set in Queens, NY. I found myself at times relating to Julie Powell's character, someone who's nearing 30 and doesn't feel like she's accomplished anything. There was a scene early on where she goes to lunch with her friends and they're all talking about how busy their lives are with their careers and Julie, who was clearly not as busy or established, sits there feeling...lacking. I was like oh my god! That's how I feel when I see my girlfriends! I'm always calling them in the middle of the day and they're like, "Gah, I'm so busy. I'm in the middle of a meeting. Can I call you back next week?" And I'm left sitting there staring at a blank phone screen, feeling like a total slacker just because I'm not as busy. Anyway, adorable film, go see it.

If you loved Julie & Julia, I highly recommend reading Trail of Crumbs by Kim Sunée. The writer's memoir takes you through her journey from Korea to New Orleans to the south of France in search of herself and ultimately finding her sense of place through her cooking. Such a beautiful and poetic book.




In keeping with the French theme, I just recently downloaded the Amelie soundtrack. (I know, I'm years behind!) It's so sweet and whimsical. I listen to it while I work.

OK, are you ready to book your flight to France yet?

mon amour

My sweet little nephew is growing up so fast!



I think he's decided to start training to be a ninja.



Even a ninja needs his nap. (isn't his monkey dummy cute?)



With all the slushy snow that's falling outside, wouldn't you love to be napping in a hammock on an island in Thailand right now?

breakdowns and books

I was having a terrible day yesterday. I've been working on a personal project for some time now and I knew going in to it that it would not be easy . I sat in my room crying for hours, contemplating giving up. My friends called to see if I was OK but I said I needed to be alone for a while. Sometimes you need to just let yourself wallow to get it out of your system.

Once I was ready to stop feeling sorry for myself I decided to get out of the apartment. I've had tonsillitis and haven't stepped outside in days. I went to Barnes & Noble to pick up a reference book I needed. Every time I go in there I want to buy everything in sight so this time I went with my To-Read list so that I wouldn't get distracted, even though I shouldn't be buying anything at all right now.

I walked past a book that had a catchy title that made me think of a certain boy and picked it up, debating buying it for him. I read the author's name and couldn't believe that it was someone I knew. He had told me he was writing this book 2 years ago and it was funny to have stumbled upon the finished product, on the Discover Great New Writers list, nonetheless. I flipped through the first few pages and had to buy it. Before I got to the Reference area I stumbled upon another book by an author I knew. Jesus. I want that to be me. I had a mental breakdown right there at the New Non-Fiction table.

I texted the boy to tell him: I found a book for you. And  I'm losing my shit at B&N. He replied: Pull your shit together, woman! What a simple suggestion. I decided to listen to his advice and left B&N. I'm so excited for my new purchases but I feel slightly guilty. I came home and looked at my bookshelf and decided to pull out all of the books that I haven't read or haven't finished because something newer and shinier came along. I counted 12. Twelve! I'm putting the books aside on their own shelf so that I know what to read after I'm done with the 2 I just bought.



Books I have that I haven't finished:

• Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë


• Tourist Season by Enid Shomer


• The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison


• The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seierstad


• One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez


• On the Road by Jack Kerouac


• Neither Here Nor There by Bill Bryson


• Smile When You're Lying by Chuck Thompson


• The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay


• Early Bird by Rodney Rothman


• Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert


• Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion

When I'm done with these I can purchase books from my To-Read list:

• Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott


• I Am Not Sidney Poitier by Percival Everett


• Perfection by Julie Metz


• It's Not Me, It's You by Stephanie Wilder-Taylor


• Lost and Found: Stories from New York by Thomas Beller


• You Are Not A Gadget: A Manifesto by Jaron Lanier


• Beg, Borrow, Steal; A Writer's Life by Michael Greenberg

Have you guys read any of these? Is there one that should be moved to the top of the list? OK, I've got a lot of reading to do!

sssmitten

I wasn't going to post any updates on my V-day date because I didn't want to jinx anything, but since you asked...

Aside from me ripping my favorite tights just when I was about to walk out the door, the night was absolutely fantastic. We didn't do anything over the top which was kinda what made it so great. I didn't want it to feel too forced or pressured to be more than what it was at the time. I felt completely relaxed around him and the time just flew by without us noticing.

I'm definitely at that stage. You know, the stage where all of his quirks are cute and  his imperfections are endearing. Where you're smiling from ear to ear when he's around and smirking like you've got a secret whenever you think of him. Where you have to stop yourself from calling him 20 times a day, every time something reminds you of him, and you check your phone every few minutes just to see if you've missed his call. Where you want to spend every free second with him but you have to come up with other plans to keep you busy so that you don't come off as crazy.

Yeah... I'm smitten. : )

fresh direct for the soul

I've been bedridden all weekend from a fever, painfully swollen glands, and a sore throat. It was definitely karma getting me back from the week before when I told a boy that I hadn't called him back and I couldn't hang out because I was bedridden with the flu. And now look where I am. I didn't have much energy to stray too far from the bed but my mom's voice was in the back of my head saying, "You gotta eat." I climbed up above my cabinets to try attempt #2 with the crockpot. I searched soup recipes but they were all too thick; chowders, stews, and cream of everything. I put the crockpot back in the box and dragged myself to the food store instead for ingredients to make chicken noodle soup.

I chopped up some celery and carrots and added pasta noodles to a chicken broth. Omg it was delicious. I ate all 6 cups yesterday.


Unfortunately for me I don't lose my appetite when I'm sick. It's the opposite actually. I can't stop eating. I was feeling restless and had a craving for something sweet so I baked a funfetti cake. It hurt like hell to swallow it but it was a pain I was willing to bear.





I woke up to my doorbell ringing this morning and, to my pleasant surprise, it was a package from Fresh Direct filled with goodies to make me feel better. A very dear and thoughtful friend of mine sent me a box full of apples, oranges, OJ, cough drops, meds, raisin bread (yums!), carrots, and pizza. How sweet is that? I'm starting to feel better already.



Now if only I can find a hug somewhere at the bottom of this box...

Shutter Island

I had been waiting to see Shutter Island for weeks now, finally  saw it yesterday, and thought it was great. I won't spoil it for you guys but I'll say I definitely didn't predict the ending. Leo was fantastic in his role, as usual, Mark Ruffalo was handsome (there's just something about him), but the other thing that I loved seeing in this movie was the 1950's style. I just love men in fedoras, khaki trench coats, tweed suits, and bow ties. Men (straight men) just don't dress like this anymore.



Anyway, thumbs up, def go see it!

thank you!

look what i just got! : )



I've had to cut back a lot lately because I'm not working as much as I'd like to be and it's killing me because I'm addicted to shopping. A friend of mine just gave me these awesome studded boots (I love anything with studs) because they didn't fit her. It's nice to have friends in PR : )

inspired

I've been watching the Winter Olympics all week in awe. I've gone through half my life not knowing what I wanted to do with it so I've always had great admiration for people who've realize their dreams young, set a goal, and work to achieve it. Now that I finally know what I want I hope to work towards it with the same dedication as these athletes.

(PS. Women's snowboarding are my favorite events. What are yours?)

add my badge!

Hello! I finally have my badge on the bottom right of my home page. Just copy this link and add it to your page! Thanks for reading! xoxo

and go!

Whenever I'm having one of those unproductive, unmotivated days I have no where to go but up. After staring out my window for half of the morning I decided to CTC (or Cut The Crap as my friend Decha would say). I thought of all the things that motivate me. The first one mainly being, I'm unemployed and I really don't want to be bartending when I'm 30. The other that seems to be getting me lately is watching the profiles of all of the Winter Olympics athletes. They're all super young, driven, and have super human athletic abilities. So what's my excuse for sitting on my (growing) ass and staring out the window? Nothing! I downloaded some new music to listen to while I write (French classical- I've been obsessed lately) and got to work.

Around 6PM I was ready for dinner and decided to make a dish using a crockpot that my brother had bought me 5 years ago and I've never even taken it out of the box. I climbed up above the cabinets (no storage space here in NYC) to fetch the dusty box and give the crockpot a pre-rinse.  I flipped through the yummy recipes, mouth watering as I read them until I got to the cook time; 4-6 hours. What the??? So, first attempt in 5 years with the crockpot was a bust. I mean, who plans dinner that far in advance???

Aside for that little snafu in my plans I was back on track and worked until I could barely keep my eyes open. I've got another jug of coffee in my hands and ready to meet my deadline before the weekend. Woot!

(Image via Melissa)

girl code #4

cold, lazy, unmotivated

That's how I'm feeling today.



I've got the winter blues. It's cold in my apartment and there are big fluffy flakes blowing outside my window. My phone is buzzing with parties for tonight but I just don't feel like getting dressed. How do you make a hot outfit with snowboots and a puffy coat? It's a perfect day to work on the book. I only need to edit 2 chapters and finish the cartoon and it'll be ready to send out. But I'm just sitting here staring blankly at the pages. I kinda wanna bake. I've been craving cupcakes but I don't have ingredients or a cupcake pan. I'm also pretty hungry. Would love to try out my crockpot that my brother bought me 5 years ago and I've never taken it out of the box. Again, the supermarket is across the street but I have no desire to get dressed and go. I'm sitting at my desk thinking about all the warm places I'd like to be (Bali, Brazil, Bangkok...) and willing myself not to text a Certain Boy and asking him to run away with me.

What do you guys do to get your motivation back? I need help!

luke, I am your Valentine

So, it turns out I do have a Valentine after all. (A first in years!) I really just want to stay in, order Chinese, watch movies, and snuggle but we're gonna venture out and have a "real date" since I joked we've never had one before. Now I have to figure out what to wear. Red is my favorite color and I love things with hearts on it but today it may look like I'm trying super hard. (Or like my 7th grade English teacher).

PS- I debated making him a card (construction paper, glitter, and glue) but, again, I don't wanna scare him off just yet. I thought this Star Wars Valentine would be cute since he was utterly appalled that I have never watched Star Wars.

cute luggage

Aren't these vintage suitcases cute? I'm dreaming of going somewhere warm with them and having a cute boy carry them for me since they don't have wheels. I'm thinking Bali or French Riviera.

Happy Chinese New year!

I want pork buns and red envelopes please.

redesign valentine's day

This Redesign of Valentine's Day via Swiss Miss is so funny.

This is my favorite part:

Goal No. 1: Clarify expectations

Sorry single people, this day is not for you. Father’s Day isn’t for mothers and Mother’s Day isn’t for fathers… you have Spring Break, what else do you want?

redesign valentine's day

This Redesign of Valentine's Day via Swiss Miss is so funny.

This is my favorite part:

Goal No. 1: Clarify expectations

Sorry single people, this day is not for you. Father’s Day isn’t for mothers and Mother’s Day isn’t for fathers… you have Spring Break, what else do you want?

girl code #3

We only met 2 days ago

My friend texted me today to ask if I found a Valentine while I was out last night. Far from it! Nothing but tainted meat out there in the meat market! Anyway, I answered that I wasn't sure. I've been seeing someone but it's still so new. It may be too early for a Valentine's Day date. He texted me back with this funny Target commercial:



We've been hanging out almost everyday so hanging out tomorrow would be normal. But Valentine's Day is kinda an elephant in the room. Do we acknowledge it? Gifts? Cards? Dinner? Or pretend it's just the day before President's Day? If we don't hang out it would be like we were purposely not hanging out because it's Valentine's Day. I know what you're thinking. It shouldn't be this complicated. What's a girl to do?

ala gaga

I really want this Lady Gaga sketch to add to my inspiration wall, but, sadly, I can't be spending money on anything right now. : /



I love everything about her.

bangs are back

I wanted to get a trim today.



And left the salon with a totally new cut. Went back to dark and got bangs again. Let's hope they work out better this time around.



My stylist said she was channeling a brunette Lady Gaga. How did she know I love her so?

le hot

I'm obsessed with Simon Baker. Love the stubble and the glasses. mmm

snow day snuggles

I went over to a certain boy's apartment on Tuesday  to get ready for the snow day we were to have on Wednesday. I brought over his cake which I think he liked. I ate more than half of it so he didn't really have all that much to taste. ha.

We watched the beautiful snow fall and stick to the branches outside his window. I wanted to make jello shots (ala college snow days) and make snowmen but we didn't get very far from the couch. Instead we drank Wild Turkey (warms you up!), ate birthday cake, and watched movies. I finally watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Loved it and though Penelope Cruz rocked as the crazy ex wife. I love Woody Allen films.



So 44 hours later I left his apartment as the sun was setting. This is the only picture I have of the gorgeous snowy day.

white shorts

I'm loving these Michael Kors paint splattered shorts. They'd be awesome for the summer but can be worn with tights  and biker boots in the winter. I die.

R.I.P. Alexander McQueen

I'll still be saving up for one of your amazing dresses.

wish list

I've always dreamed of having a library once I can afford to move into a bigger apartment. Having this card catalog would make it absolutely perfect!



Until I have my library, I could use this as my underwear drawer.

oh how pretty

I'm not certain if I have a Valentine this year. But if I did, I'd love to wear this outfit.

just add water, brace for disaster

It's a certain boy's birthday and I had no idea what to get him so I thought it would be nice to bake him a cake. I really wanted to make a Pillsbury funfetti cake (my fave when i was younger!) but he had mentioned that he likes oreos and cookie cakes. (I was like, "huh? what's a cookie cake?") I started googling recipes and ideally aimed to make something like this:

But there were so many recipes and the ingredients and directions just had my head spinning. I didn't have a cake pan or mixer, didn't know the difference between all 4 sugars  in the recipe, and had to text Bionic Woman to ask her what it meant to "fold." She replied, "Hahahaha. I feel like I need to come over and help you." I was determined to make this special, on my own, but had to text her a million more times with apparently retarded questions. She replied, "I can't with you and this baking right now."

I was completely overwhelmed at the grocery store while trying to buy the ingredients. NYC grocery stores are like the size of a 7-eleven and yet I just can't figure out where anything is. I settled for buying boxed mixes that had pictures on the front that looked close to what I was trying to achieve. The kitchen looked like a disaster and I was amazed that one could have such a hard time when the only directions were, "Add water. Stir."

I was pretty impressed with my improvisation skills though. I used my muddler (for making drinks) to crush the oreos into a crumb topping. (move over Martha!) I won't really mention the other things I put in there when I couldn't figure out what the recipe called for.

I texted Bionic again to tell her, "This is the saddest attempt ever. I am failing at domesticity." This is the finished product:



I hope he appreciates the thought and effort I put into this cake. That's all this cake has got going for it.

girl code #2

ma belle

I am loving Betty's studded jacket and American Apparel bodysuit. I'm gonna order the bodysuit today. Oh wait, I'm broke.

death by cute

Haha R2 just sent me this image via Gizmodo:

When the inevitable police report is filled out, expect all the old cliches. "She seemed so harmless," the neighbors will say. "We never thought so much evil could be hiding under such a cute little bow."

My girlfriend Kate told me this weekend that I should totally open a variety store because I absolultey love buying useless junk and putting them on display. I told her I can only imagine what my home would look like (once I can afford to buy one) because the only thing that's stopping me from buying these things is lack of space (sigh, NYC living).

how to get over a break up

I'm about to share with you the secret of how to get over a break up by the time the weekend is over.

Just kidding. There have been millions of articles written about this topic and I have yet to read one that finds the instant cure that everyone is searching for. That's because it's not possible. Whenever I'm going through a break up, staying in bed for days, crying my eyes out, my friends always tell me, "It'll get better. You'll get through this." Yes, I agree. I know this because each time someone has dumped me, and the pain hurts so bad that I think it's possible to die from a heart ache, I've eventually recovered and survived. I always answer, "I know I'll get through it. I don't even want him back at this point. I just wanna fast forward this depressing part and be over him already."

Again, there is no easy cure, no fast forward button. A break up is like a cold; you just have to let it run its course. With that said, the course is quite similar to a grieving process. When my college boyfriend dumped me on the first day of classes, I stayed in bed for 2 weeks. One of my professors threatened to lower my grade due to my "excessive absences" and I broke down in tears. I said, "I'm sorry, I just lost my best friend and am having a really hard time." Yes, I led her to believe that there had been a death (I doubt any professors are sympathetic to being dumped) but to me it really felt like someone had died. One day I woke up and this person that I spent every day with, talked to all the time, snuggled with every night, was no longer there. I couldn't see him, talk to him, touch him.

Because of the similarities, I believe Elizabeth Kubler Ross's model, The Five Stages of Grief, can be applied. Let these stages take its course and you'll be just fine.

• Denial This can't be true. You guys didn't break up. He's still your boyfriend. Continue to treat him like he's your boyfriend. Call him and ask what he wants for dinner tonight. Meet him outside his work. Every time he tells you you're no longer together just laugh it off and tell him he's being silly.


• Anger You realize that he really has broken up with you. How could he dump you. You're perfect. Why can't he see this? Burn his pictures. Break his gifts. Beat pillows with a baseball bat. (Don't hit him. You'll go to jail). Call him a million times (until he says restraining order) and tell him he'd never find someone else like you. If he has a rabbit, boil it.


• Bargaining Try to convince him that you're not crazy. You didn't kill his pet. You just briefly lost your cool. Ask him to give it another chance. Maybe a one week trial period. You'll be perfect, you promise.


• Depression He has turned down your pleas. He really doesn't want you anymore. What's wrong with you? You're lethargic. You can't find any joy in life if he's not there by your side. The only things that seem to bring you momentary happiness is your bed, sweatpants, fudge, mac n cheese, and booze. Stay in bed, eat, drink, and watch The Office reruns as long as you want.


• Acceptance Stop staring at your phone. He's not gonna call. Stop trying to "bump into" him. He knows you don't live anywhere near his work and were not on your way a fabulous party all dressed up. He's not gonna come crawling back. Once you accept this and stop revolving all of your actions around the hope that he'll want you again, you can start the process of moving on.

Once you're ready to move on (meaning every action you take doesn't have the secret motive of reconciliation in the back of your mind), here are a few extra tips that help.

• Delete his number. No more stalking. If you're facebook friends (which was a dumb move to begin with), defriend him. You don't want to see his status updates or wonder if the new girl he's friends with is someone he's dating. He no longer exists. Delete, delete, delete.


• Shop. A lot. Buy those fab shoes, hot dress, and bold new make up. You'll have fun shopping, you'll love your new stuff, you'll look and feel hot, and you'll want to reemerge in the social scene.


• Cut or dye your hair. It's a must. Most of the time you'll look better. Sometimes you may regret it. But it's still part of the process. Just do it.


• Hang out with your single friends. They won't mention how great their boyfriends are or make you wanna throw up. They go to fun parties.


• Milk it when you're out. Say you just got dumped. Be surprised at how many people offer to buy you drinks.


• Take on a new hobby. What did you want to do that you didn't have time for because you spent all your free time with your boyfriend? It'll take your mind off of him, keep you busy, and you'll actually enjoy it. Plus, it could be a new skill you could put on your resume or your Match.com profile.


• Get a part time job at a bar. For some reason, people always think they love you when you serve them drinks. You'll get told how beautiful you are a million times a night. You may even get some free dinners out of it. If not, at least your confidence will get the major boost it needed and you'll see that there are tons of people who want you.

Soon you'll see that your actions are not driven by the goal of getting over him and that you're actually enjoying your life again, sans Le Douche.

And remember, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want you anyway. You'll find someone who can't imagine life without you. Someone who loves you for the awesome, smart, beautiful, cool, awkward, fun, silly, quirky weirdo that you are. Just don't forget to love yourself first.



Now go get 'em!

i wuv youuuuuuu!

shopping for The One

I was with my girlfriends when one of them brought up her boyfriend of years. She loves him dearly but has one hang up she couldn't get over; he just wasn't who she pictured marrying. I thought about how Bionic Woman always says to me, "You don't get to choose who you love." But I think a lot of women have that same hang up. They are dating somebody who is great but when it comes to the man they want to marry, they had perhaps pictured someone more handsome, taller, or richer.

I'm sure everyone has a mental checklist of someone they're looking for. As a girl continues to see a guy and learn more about him, she continues to mark checks on the list. But what if someone great falls short a few checks?

Another girlfriend told me to apply the same rule we use when we go shopping. "You need to ask yourself what do you need versus what you want," she told me. "Do you need him to be 6 ft tall? Or would that just be nice?" Applying this shopping rule actually puts the checklist into perspective. We don't need everything that's on the checklist.

My girlfriend, Kate, listened to my checklist and told me bluntly, "That guy doesn't exist. You're not gonna find someone who has everything on that list." Another friend chimed in, "Nobody's perfect. My husband's not perfect. But when it comes down to it, I just can't live without him." Something to think about definitely. Kate saw that I was still skeptical, as stubborn as I am, she read my defiant face that said, "I'll find Mr. Perfect and I'll show them!"

Kate looked at me and said in her as-a-matter-of-fact tone, "When you find this pipe dream of a man, you let me know."

I'm gonna do just that. I'll have this WANTED poster taped to every phone pole in NYC:

And when I find him I'm gonna ride around on my unicorn doing my victory lap.

will give tours for drinks

I've been relieved of NYC tour guide duties today so it's back to work for me. It's been an exhausting few days but I do love getting the chance to do touristy things when I have visitors. We always rush through the city daily and often forget to stop an appreciate how wonderful it is. This past week I've been all over the place with my guest; The Met, MOMA Tim Burton Exhibit, Central Park, Bryant Park, Fifth Ave, Times Square, Union Square. We had yummy dinners at Bobby Vans, Aquavit, and Kefi with drinks everywhere in between. In fact, my tour has been more like a bar crawl with sights added as a bonus.

I'll have more photos of the places we visited on my flickr.

Also, on Monday I assisted the fabulous Miss Kate on a fun photo shoot for a children's clothing line. She sent me this photo of me sitting in so that she could test her lighting.



I was being such a ham in her test shots she told me I may have missed my calling. I think so too. ;)