breakdowns and books

I was having a terrible day yesterday. I've been working on a personal project for some time now and I knew going in to it that it would not be easy . I sat in my room crying for hours, contemplating giving up. My friends called to see if I was OK but I said I needed to be alone for a while. Sometimes you need to just let yourself wallow to get it out of your system.

Once I was ready to stop feeling sorry for myself I decided to get out of the apartment. I've had tonsillitis and haven't stepped outside in days. I went to Barnes & Noble to pick up a reference book I needed. Every time I go in there I want to buy everything in sight so this time I went with my To-Read list so that I wouldn't get distracted, even though I shouldn't be buying anything at all right now.

I walked past a book that had a catchy title that made me think of a certain boy and picked it up, debating buying it for him. I read the author's name and couldn't believe that it was someone I knew. He had told me he was writing this book 2 years ago and it was funny to have stumbled upon the finished product, on the Discover Great New Writers list, nonetheless. I flipped through the first few pages and had to buy it. Before I got to the Reference area I stumbled upon another book by an author I knew. Jesus. I want that to be me. I had a mental breakdown right there at the New Non-Fiction table.

I texted the boy to tell him: I found a book for you. And  I'm losing my shit at B&N. He replied: Pull your shit together, woman! What a simple suggestion. I decided to listen to his advice and left B&N. I'm so excited for my new purchases but I feel slightly guilty. I came home and looked at my bookshelf and decided to pull out all of the books that I haven't read or haven't finished because something newer and shinier came along. I counted 12. Twelve! I'm putting the books aside on their own shelf so that I know what to read after I'm done with the 2 I just bought.



Books I have that I haven't finished:

• Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë


• Tourist Season by Enid Shomer


• The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison


• The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seierstad


• One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez


• On the Road by Jack Kerouac


• Neither Here Nor There by Bill Bryson


• Smile When You're Lying by Chuck Thompson


• The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay


• Early Bird by Rodney Rothman


• Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert


• Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion

When I'm done with these I can purchase books from my To-Read list:

• Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott


• I Am Not Sidney Poitier by Percival Everett


• Perfection by Julie Metz


• It's Not Me, It's You by Stephanie Wilder-Taylor


• Lost and Found: Stories from New York by Thomas Beller


• You Are Not A Gadget: A Manifesto by Jaron Lanier


• Beg, Borrow, Steal; A Writer's Life by Michael Greenberg

Have you guys read any of these? Is there one that should be moved to the top of the list? OK, I've got a lot of reading to do!