Lesson: Always wash your hands.

I was at the bar on Friday and took a little loo break. I was wearing a pink polka-dot string thong (I don't like how G-string sounds), nothing I purposely picked out, just grabbed it off the top of the underwear pile. I usually prefer a thicker band, like hip-hugging thongs, because string ones tend to be less easy to control. It's so thin, and stretchy, sometimes it can be pulled up too high without you realizing it and you're looking like a little McSlut with your thong poking out, cutting into your muffin top. So anyway, I went to the bathroon, pulled up my thong and my pants, and went to wash my hands. I looked in the mirror and realized that not only had I hiked my thong up way too high, poking out of my pants, but that the string had been pulled over my cardigan, latching on to a button. Just picture that.