Friday night text:
J: Come out and play.
Me: I can't I'm so drunk
J: Man up! Drink some coffee!
10 minutes later:
Me: Drank some coffee. Threw up. Not gonna make it.
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Drunk friend said to friend:
Every time I try to kiss you I feel like I'm going to throw up.
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I'm not used to it being this hard. I can't stop touching it!
(me talking about my thighs to Tim)
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