summer shoes

Wouldn't these be cute for the summer with no socks, a white linen shirt, and rolled up jean shorts? And maybe a red bike on the side.

you know me, always cautious

I am beginning to wonder if my mind works in strange ways. I've always thought I was normal but then my friends tell me that I think about really weird things and that "no one thinks of stuff like that." For example, at all times, I think about what I would do in an emergency. Like if I'm in an elevator, I wonder what I would do if the cables suddenly snap and I fall 23 floors. If I'm in the ocean, I think how would I handle it if I was being attacked by a shark. Are you supposed to hit its nose, poke its eyes (or is that from the Stooges?), stay perfectly still and play dead, or swim as fast as you fucking can? Or if I'm at a party with a room full of friends, I look around and think who I would eat first if we were in some sort of situation where we had no access of food and people were dying. Everyone always has to have an emergency plan right?

The Boy tells me I think about death more than the normal person. Like when I'm sick with a (terrible!) flu, and he asks how I'm feeling, I tell him, "I'm on my deathbed." Or when I'm taking a taxi to his apartment at 3:45 AM, I text him to say, "If I'm not there in 20 minutes, the taxi driver has taken me to Mexico to sell my parts. Please alert police." He says I say that every time I'm in a taxi to his place late at night (not that I go there late at night often). But I ask him what I'm supposed to do? Should I not listen to the hairs that are standing up on my arms (yes, it's cold but it must also be due to the creepy feeling the driver is giving me)? Is it my fault that I always get a driver who looks at me funny in the rear view mirror? He says I'm being overly dramatic and that I'm like the girl who cried wolf and how is he supposed to know when he really should be worried when I'm always being dramatic. I tell him he should be worried every time.

Another thing is that I'm more afraid when I'm in the suburbs than I am living every day, and walking dark alleys at night, in the city. I visit friends who have large back yards and lots of trees and I look warily through the curtains at night and think that's a great place for someone to hide out and watch my every move, waiting for the right moment to attack. Or when I went snowshoeing in Utah in broad daylight, huffing and puffing 20 feet behind my friends, I thought some one could snatch me and the girls wouldn't even notice until it was too late. People always disappear on hiking trails, you know. I'm also more suspicious of people living in the suburbs. I always think they must be up to something. What else are they doing with their free time? And with that two car garage? I thought my friend's neighbor in Utah looked like a pedophile. He was bald and was extremely cheery. My friend said that's ridiculous, he has two children. I thought the pedophile on Dexter also had 2 kids. Is he also a pastor, I asked.

While in Utah the girls got on the topic of college and all the frat parties they went to and all the bad things they heard the guys did to other girls. They talked about the night their friend got roofied when they drank the punch. They said they thought it was a little odd that the frat guys drank from a different punch bowl than the one they were serving to the girls. They said they were happy they were in the mood for beers that night. After trading college stories, we all showered, got dressed, and went to a friend's house for dinner. We were over their house the night before too, drinking and playing pool after a night out at the bars. I said I was glad we got out of there when we did because one of the guys was a "toucher". The girls asked what I meant by that and I said he seemed like the type of guy who waits till you're drunk and half asleep and he tries to touch. He fit the profile completely. Shy guy, not too attractive. Total toucher. He's usually nice and never makes moves on girls but he also never has 5 hot drunk girls back at his place at 2AM. He figures he's got to at least try. He thinks he equally has no chance with all, none less than the other, so he slowly creeps over to whoever is sitting alone. The girls did agree that he seemed to make his way over to them every time they were sitting alone but they thought he was harmless and still agreed to letting the guys make us dinner the following night. So we were on our way to their house (which I think they torture girls in) and I asked what was for dinner. Eggplants, they said, and I said, ew, I hate eggplants. How can you hate eggplants, they asked me and I said, it's weird and asked if he was making any other dishes. They said they didn't know and that it was rude to ask but I said who makes dinner for 7 people and only makes one dish? (Touchers, that's who, but I didn't say this out loud).

So we got there and I was hungry and of course dinner wasn't ready yet but that's OK because at least we get to watch him cook and see what he puts in to the pot. I'll admit it did look pretty good but when you're hungry enough almost anything will look good. Finally, after a few glasses of wine and about a half hour, the food was ready and the guys said ladies first and we made our plates. We poured ourselves more wine (we brought it) and brought our plates in to the living room. We each took a bite and, OK, it was good, but then we thought we should wait for the guys since they did cook it after all so it's probably polite to wait for them to start eating. So we put our forks down and tried to make small talk so that we wouldn't think about the food that was in front of us that we wanted to eat. Where did they both go anyway, we asked, and did they have to go right when the food was ready? I told the girls that my instincts are never wrong and I bet they would return and say they're not that hungry or they'd probably get their food from a different pot than the one we served ourselves from. The girls laughed, but when more time passed and they still didn't return, it turned in to a nervous chuckle. I told them, just wait, it's going to be a week from now when we wake up and find ourselves chained to a radiator in the basement. We looked at our plates sitting on the coffee table and decided we were hungry, the food was good, and that we would take the chance. Isn't this what happens in the movies? The victims just figure they'll die anyway so they give in?

The guys return just when we finished our last bite and licked our plates clean. Isn't that perfect timing? I bet they were watching us on video from another room. We asked where they were and they said they walked the dog and smoked a bowl. We asked why they had to go right when the food was ready and they said that was just when they felt they wanted to go. They asked us how we liked the food and we asked if they were going to eat. They said they weren't hungry and I knew we were going to die. After more prodding (are you sure you don't want to eat?) they said they weren't hungry because they had done acid earlier. We asked, who invites someone over for dinner and then does acid before they cook? (Touchers, that's who). Later, when I told The Boy this story, he said we were lucky they didn't put crayons in our food. I've eaten crayons before and that was the least of my concerns.

But we were still alive after we ate the dinner so we went out to the bars and drank a lot and the girls told me I was worried for no reason. I thought they were letting their guards down too soon. That's when they get you, just when you think you're safe. I still believed we were going to die, if not by eggplant then by the touching that was going to be attempted once they fed us enough beers. Luckily for me, I don't drink beer.

seeing spots

Omg I want this bathing suit! I usually never wear one pieces because I don't want the tan lines and I think I'm too short but I'm pretty obsessed this Spring. I think I'm gonna get it.

becoming...

I'm having a pretty good start to the week. I had a lovely soul food dinner last night that sent me into an early slumber. This morning I had a meeting with NBC (Note: this is a tease, no details yet! haha) that went really well. Do you ever just meet someone who is just super cool and you leave thinking, "Wow, that was a really great conversation." Women are usually too busy hating on each other to appreciate just how awesome other women are.

While I was waiting for my meeting I was watching people hurry through the lobby, coffee cups in hand. They seemed to have such purpose. I was jealous. I thought to myself, "I wanna walk with purpose, coffee cup in hand. I wish I had a job." I would be able to pull out my ballet flats, Express editor pants, and colorful sweaters out of the "You don't have a job right now so you don't need these clothes" bin. I read this article by Dominique Browning today about life after being laid-off. It was unemployment so eloquently described and I felt I could totally relate.

I got home and put the coffee on and cleaned my room so that I could get a day of writing in. I finally unpacked my suitcase from Utah. (It only took me a week, which is record time). I cleared all the clutter, picked up my clothes off the floor, and swept the cat hairs. My room seemed to double in size! I always blame my clutter and disorganization on the lack of living space in NYC but then I see those people in design magazines who make their small living quarters oh-so-cozy (and cute, and organized) and I think I'm just full of excuses.

After I was done cleaning I worked for a few hours on my book. Next thing I knew I woke up with a space bar imprinted on my forehead. I had been struggling to write this chapter and even I was so bored by what I wrote that I passed out! Not a good sign. Ah well. I put another pot of coffee on and my editor pants for inspiration. Delete. Rewrite. Repeat.

me, 6 guys, and balls everywhere

Last night I met up with my old roommates and some of the other guys who lived in the building with us (total Melrose Place but with dirtier showers). I walked into the room and it was 6 guys and me (my kinda party!) and the first thing someone says is, "Hey, Nina! Are you gonna blog about this?" Haha. Only if they make it good, I told them. 



We headed out to Spin, a 13,000 square foot bar in Flatiron filled with Ping Pong tables and bleachers instead of seats. When I first walked downstairs I thought, "this is the weirdest shit ever." Just people hanging out, drinking, and playing ping pong. It was like some underground cult of freaks with paddles. (Yes, I was told I was being a little judgmental but that was my first impression). I am not an "activities" person when it comes to drinking. I just like to drink and, when the music moves me, dance. No talking (esp not on the dance floor), throwing (beer pong/horse shoes), hitting (ping pong), or arcade games (ala Brother Jimmy's).



I eventually picked up a paddle and would like to retract my original harsh judgements. Drinking and hitting balls is fun! (And slightly dangerous. Balls were flying everywhere! One even followed me home in my purse).



I love hanging out with the boys because they definitely don't hold back just because there's a little lady around. I always pick up new man lingo (mingo!) like "Penis kiss" and get to see all the sexy cell phone photos sent to them.



Spin NYC: Boys, bleachers, booze, and balls. It's like high school all over again!

hello breakfast

Gah! I want this Hello Kitty waffle maker! Right now I'm having sunny side up eggs (with fish sauce), turkey bacon, coffee, and coconut water (essential for the hangover!).

the Romy to my Michele

During our Girls Only Utah Trip the topic of our impending high school reunion came up. It was ten years ago that we graduated from hell high school and our reunion is sometime this year. My best friend, Kate, said she wanted to go but since she works most weekends (as a wedding photographer) she's not sure if she would make it. I turned to her with sad puppy dog eyes and pleaded, "You have to go! You're the Romy to my Michele! Who's gonna show up in a bright dress suit with me, help me make up a successful career, and exit in a helicopter with me?!"

primer time

I've been watching my budget lately which means cutting back on things that I don't necessarily need. I haven't been using primer (I mean, no one sees primer right?) but I've been seeing my dark eye makeup (my staple) smudged all over my eyelids and my pores have been all, "Look at me! Look at me!" So the other day I was walking past Sephora and I thought, "I'm just gonna look."  I usually use Smashbox for foundation primer and Benefit for eyes primer but I noticed Bare Essentials was a bit cheaper and decided to give it a try. Let's just say when I got home from my date at 11Pm last night I didn't look like something from a Thriller video (and luckily I didn't run from zombies through a graveyard either).

Prime Time Eyelid Primer $16



Prime Time Foundation Primer Oil Control $21

legssssss

I wish I had legs like hers.

(Image via Sartorialist)

snowboarding at snowbird

OK, back to Utah. I don't know how we were finally able to sleep after The Great Dinosaur Debate but we woke up early the next morning to hit the slopes. I have many more pictures from the mountain but I used a disposable (film!) camera because I didn't want to take the chance of dropping or breaking my camera in the snow. I searched all over NYC for a place that still develops film. Rite Aid advertised One Hour Photo but that sign was apparently vintage and I have to wait a week for it to come back from the lab (just like back in the prehistoric times).




Snowboarding in Utah was absolutely amazing! The powder is definitely different from the East Coast. We even got some snow while we were riding which made it look so beautiful. Aaaaaand the best news is I'm getting much better at snowboarding. Like I looked so pro! (Again, self proclaimed).

still in...

So our plan last night didn't exactly work. Our friends finally know that we've hung out but I think they're still not catching on and I really don't want to spell it out. At least I did get a lovely date night out of it. The Boy and  had some drinks and then went out for Greek, which our neighborhood of Astoria is known for. We both had lamb gyros (delicious!) and I had an order of grilled octopus (A-mazing!) to myself since The Boy doesn't eat seafood (I know, this may pose a problem). At least he's a carnivore or else it would be over. I ate so much that I was quickly slipping into a food coma at the table so he drove me home. It was a great...um... "first" date.

(Image via Melissa)

coming out

We interrupt the regularly scheduled Utah Updates to bring you the news that The Boy and I are "coming out" tonight. You see, we met about 2 months ago through a mutual friend. We began seeing each other shortly after and dug ourselves into a little secret hole. Before our first date, neither of us mentioned it to our friends. We felt like if we said, "Hey, we have something to tell you..." it seemed like some sort of admission of guilt. But if we didn't say anything then we were clearly sneaking around. After the first few dates we debated how to handle telling everyone. We didn't want to say something too soon just in case it turned out to be nothing. But then we kept waiting and now it's 2 months later. At first we felt really guilty. Our friends would say what are you up to and we would both lie. But then it became a funny inside joke. We would laugh about all the ridiculous possible ways we would tell them. Now, it's still funny, but we'd kinda would like to be able to see in other in public, not that snuggling and watching movies on the couch isn't fun.

So tonight we're gonna break it to them slowly by saying we "bumped into each other" on the subway and decided to go for a drink. This all probably sounds a bit ridiculous. I mean, why would our friends even care that we're seeing each other? I guess we've just waited too long and they might find it weird since they probably can't see us together. Anyway, moral of the story...While secrets can be fun and send you into giggle fits, telling the truth, more often, is probably a better idea...

Team Nina vs. Team Dinosaurs

(Image via Spanish Moss)

After snow "ho-ing", we ate lunch and went to pick up Care Bears (the final link!) from the airport. We went to a local bar for dinner and, of course, lots of drinks. We filled Care Bears in on the (quality) conversations she had missed.

While driving back from snow "ho-ing", we somehow got on the gloomy topic about how the world was going to end. It began when someone was talking about something and then Kate said, "It doesn't matter because the world's going to end in 2012 anyway." For fuck's sake, that's less than 2 years away! I asked her why she thought this and she said she truly believed it because Nostradamus and many psychics who had been right about past catastrophes predicted that many will die in 2012. So Annie asked, "What, like Y2K in 2000?" But Kate answered no, it was going to be something natural like an earthquake or volcano eruption and if not that then a terrorist attack. I was still skeptical because who wants to remain positive and go on with their lives when there's an armageddon looming over their heads? So Kate backed up her claims. She said she truly believed that there would be a mass disaster that would wipe out the human race because, "Think about it," she said, "What happened to the dinosaurs? One day they were all gone. And what about the Mayans? They're all gone too." I thought about it and to be honest, I had never thought about the Mayans before so I don't really know their story and what happened to them. But I have studied dinosaurs for many years in grade school and I replied, "You know, nobody can say for sure what happened to the dinosaurs because everything about them is a theory. No one has ever seen them." Silence. Pause. Jen, who was driving, looked in her rearview mirror and said, "So let me get this straight. Neen, so you're saying you don't believe in dinosaurs?" Silence. It's not that I don't believe in them like I don't believe in the Tooth Fairy (even though The Rock did a pretty convincing portrayal in the Tooth Fairy movie) and Santa Claus, I just think that every thing we know about them is a theory and no one has ever seen them with their eyes. This just blew everyone away. Heads began spinning, arms began waving around. "How can you not believe in dinosaurs??!!" They all repeated in unison. "There is PROOF of them. There are bones and stuff!" I answered, "Sure there have been some bones laying around here and there, but how do we know for sure that we even assembled them correctly? And how to we know what their skin looked like when there's no evidence of skin. They could've all been neon pink for all we know.And how do we know what they ate and which ones were scary carnivores. They could've all been sweet as puppies." I knew I had posed a good argument. I had won over Annie. She was on Team Nonbeliever now. She said, "You know, that's true. I mean, they weren't called Dinosaurs back then. We named them that. We gave them all of these made up names." Silence. OK, so Annie's not a good person to be on my team. But I still had her.

The girls became exasperated with me. I mean how do you argue with an idiot? You'll get nowhere. Kate decided to add to her argument (that the world was ending very soon) by posing another question. "And, think about it, what happened to the Egyptians?" Silence.

"Um. Kate, there's an entire country still full of them, "I answered. We started laughing.

"They're still there, Kate, they just don't live in the pyramids anymore," Jen added.

Kate slunk lower in her seat but she was determined to redeem herself. "No, but I mean, what happened to the Ancient Egyptians?" She clarified her question.

"Um. Well. They died because that was a really long time ago and people don't live that long and now there are modern Egyptians."

It's hard to believe that any of us graduated with honors from college. We would be laughed out of Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

So now that Care Bears was up to date on how stupid her friends are we kept the debate going at the dinner table, laughing until our faces turned red and our abs hurt. A man walked over to our table to see what we were all laughing about. We turned to him and said, "Sir, let's get your opinion! Do you believe in dinosaurs?" He looked at our empty glasses and asked how many we have had. He bought us all shots because I'm sure he thought we could solve the problems of the world (or at least the U.S. Healthcare debate) if we had more.

The shots arrived and they filled up a rocks glass all the way to the top. I have never seen a shot so big (and I have seen a lot of shots). We all started laughing, having to take the shot in 3 to 4 gulps. "Riddle me this," Kate asked Jen who has lived in Utah for almost a year, "Why is it that shots can be this large but Nina couldn't order a full sized martini?" My half sized martini must have gone to my head because I was dying laughing. Earlier, I tried to order a dirty martini and the waitress asked me if I wanted a long pour. Jen explained to me that in Utah they can only give you a certain amount of straight liquor without a mixer and you had to pay for a long pour if you wanted more. What. The. Eff? This boggled our minds more than the dinosaurs did.



A few days later, when Kate had her layover at Chicago's O'Hare airport, she texted us this photo with the subject line, "They're real!"



The debate continues...

Volcom snowboarding jacket

I ordered this Volcom snowboarding jacket from Dogfunk (for 65% off!) and I am so in love with it. I almost kinda wish it would be colder for longer so I could keep wearing it. Alllllllmost. It's got so many hidden pockets, ventilation zippers, and a warm fleece lining around the neck. I'm usually borrowing someone else's gear when I go boarding so I was excited to finally have matching gear in my size for once. I may not have been the best snowboarder on the mountain (toddler ski school lapped me twice before I finished a run) but I definitely looked like the coolest snowboarder (if only self proclaimed).

snow-ho-ing!

The following day (last Thursday) we woke up early to go snow shoeing. I had never done this before and was super excited, picturing snow shoes that look like wooden tennis racquets and playful Huskies running by our side. Apparently there are more modern snow shoes these days that make you look like you have your shoes on the wrong feet ( something I've done before so I made sure to double check). And, er, there were no playful Huskies just prancing around in the snow. Anyway, the mountains were absolutely breathtaking and snow shoeing definitely took our breath. I felt like the fat kid in gym class, having to stop every few feet to gasp for (amazingly fresh) air. At one point, when my thighs asked me why I hate them so much, I began to crawl. It was such a great workout and definitely a lot of fun.



Kate had "Going snowshoeing" as her facebook status and a friend commented, "I thought that said Snow Ho-ing." Hahah. Sounds like an activity us girls would participate in. ;)

my name is nina and I don't drink beer

I arrived in Salt Lake City, Utah at 5PM on St. Patrick's Day. I had been walking around all day holding this gripe in but when I saw my girlfriends I had to vent. I really despise St. Patrick's Day. There, I said it. Maybe I just feel left out because I'm not Irish. Or because I don't like Guinness or any other beer (gasp!). So be it. I abhor everyone's choice in green attire that day. It's like, "Oh, I need to wear green so let me put on this ratty, faded t-shirt that's been in the dryer way too many times." Note: Half shirts are rarely flattering, especially on men. People wear every mismatched shade of green they could find in their closets paired with an ugly plastic shamrock necklace that they saved from last year's bar giveaways. And just like most other holidays (i.e. New Years), but especially St. Paddy's, everyone thinks it's a good idea to get shitfaced before noon and relive their frat boy heydays of college. Read: Red faced men, white long sleeve under too small green t-shirt, backwards baseball cap, ignorant topics of conversation.

As I looked around the bar with my nose wrinkled, my girlfriend, Kate, said to me, "You know, you're no better than them. You have on that stupid neon green bandana around your neck." Perhaps I am no better than them, but my neon bandana is cool. Kate did agree though that "lime green is rarely flattering on anyone."

Anyway, our friend Jen who was hosting us in Utah took us straight to the bar from the airport. St. Paddy's or not, I always need a drink. The bar, Bayou, had more than 20 beers on tap and a longer list of bottled beers. I was dying for a martini but thought I would feel stupid around the people that I thought looked stupid, especially since my girls were traitors also drinking beers. Jen asked me what I wanted and I said I guess I'll have a beer as if I was a child agreeing to eat my vegetables. She told me I could order something else but I said I wanted to fit in. I ordered a Wyld, curious to see what an organic pale ale tasted like. I'll admit it wasn't all that bad but I had a stomach ache for the rest of the night (beer makes me feel so full) and it didn't make me fit in (probably because I said "Ugh" after every sip).

After eating dinner and drinking my one beer (I ordered a chardonnay after that) we went back to the airport to pick up another friend who arrived at 9PM. We went back to Jen's (adorable) house, fed Ann our leftovers, got into our PJ's, drank wine, made fun of each other and gossiped. That's more like it. Now I feel like I fit in.

the joys of flying

It must be something about traveling alone that makes me want to slap everyone I encounter. Because I love flying and I love airports I always wondered then what makes me so irritable that grind my teeth until my jaw is sore. I realized it's because 98% of the time I'm traveling by myself. No one to talk to, no one calm me down and tell me not everyone around me is as intelligent as I am.

I made good time getting to JFK, lugging my suitcase 6 (long) blocks to the subway, to the airtrain, and then through the terminal. I couldn't pack my bag down to a carry-on because my snow gear was so big so I had to check my bag. I actually wish I packed more clothes and shoes since I had to check my bag anyway. I was only the 10th person on line at the baggage check line but the line did not move at all. I wanted to pick up a magazine and a snack and relax by my gate and this group of 4 at the check-in counter was doing everything they could to make sure I could not follow through with my plans. I was tapping my feet and inching up closer to the person in front of me (9 people away from the group) to make sure the group knew I was annoyed. How hard is it to check in? You hand them your I.D. and boarding pass that you get from the computer check-in, they take your I.D., type something into the computer, take your bag, and hand you back your info and a baggage claim sticker attached to your boarding pass. A one minute transaction max. What could possibly make you stand at the counter for 20 minutes?

I finally got to security and had the option between 6 lines. I chuckled to myself, hearing George Clooney's voice (ala Up In The Air) as I was trying to decide which line would be the fastest. Senior Citizens: No. Single mother with 3 kids, car seat, and stroller: No. I did not see any efficient Asians and lined up behind a white guy in a suit, a close second. Of course, I forgot not to wear studded apparel and had to remove everything except for my pants and my shirt.

After security, I got to the gate just when they were pre-boarding which leads to my next mind-boggling travel behavior. I waited until they called my row and I tried to get in line except there was no line. Just a herd of people standing in front of the ticket lady. How do people not understand the concept of a line? I decided to just pick the closest thing resembling a line, 3 people inching slowly, one behind the other. But then the line doesn't move and I realize these people aren't on line at all. They are waiting as close as possible to the line so that when their gate is called they can pretend they were already on line and keep moving forward. W.T.F??  This action drives me bonkers!! I feel like people who do this have some serious personality defects. (Care Bears told me she does this on her business trips to ensure her carry-on luggage has room in the overhead compartment so that she doesn't have to check her bag. I guess, in this case, gate crowding is OK. All others: Seriously defected).

My friend Ann says she gets a little scared when she flies alone. Sometimes I think about the possibility of a disaster but I tell her I'm usually too busy wanting to kill everyone on the plane to worry about my own death which I guess is kinda a good thing because the scary thoughts of crashing never enter my mind. In all my years of traveling, over a hundred flights taken, I have never, not once, been seated next to a hot guy who has serendipity, future husband potential. Overweight man who seeps in my seat? Yes. Coughing, sneezing, pooping, crying child? Yes. Cheap drugstore perfume lady? Yes. Never the hot guy.

I am always amazed by the characters on a plane. The ones who go into a panic because their bag that clearly isn't a carry-on doesn't fit and they continue to push it causing other people's bags to fall on my head. Or the ones who stroll on late and then get agitated when the plane isn't taking off the instant they put their seat belts on. Or the ones who think the seat belt sign is merely a suggestion. The ones that thing the flight attendant would say, "Oh you just really need your Ipod (that you can't even turn on during takeoff) right this second? OK  then. The seat belt sign doesn't apply to that."

I was seated next to an awkward 20 something guy who was passing a chess board back and forth with his friend who was seated directly behind him. I had an aisle seat, my preference because I don't feel so cornered in. A graying, middle aged lady had the window seat. Her disshevelled-ness got on my nerves, even with one person in between us. Her so called purse was too large to fit under the seat in front of her but she continued to kick it until it probably poked out between the legs of the person in front of her. I nodded off and woke up to see her sitting in the seat crouching tiger style, staring at me. I decided to ignore her strange behavior and force my eyes shut. Next thing I know I felt this gust of wind whoosh across my face. Apparently the lady needed to pee and was waiting for me and awkward chess player to wake up so that she could get out of her seat. I have never seen anyone, let alone a middle aged lady, leap across 2 passengers into the aisle before. What is wrong with people?

Of course, it wouldn't feel like a normal flight if I a child hasn't assaulted me with their germs. I knew not having a child within a 5 seat radius of me was too good to be true when a mother bringing her child back from the bathroom stopped next to me. The lady across the aisle wanted to tell the mother how cute her child was, show her pictures of her nephews, talk about how lonely she is, and how her brother died last year. She definitely wasn't a New Yorker. While the lady accosted the mother with her TMI's the child pulled on her mother's arm. Even the child was smart enough to want to get out of that damn conversation. Then the child sneezed on me. Compared to the crouching tiger lady I thought, at least, this was expected.

coming home!

Hello! I'm at the airport in Salt Lake City right now waiting for the red eye back to NYC. I was so hungry and looking forward to crappy airport fast food (hey, there's nothing else available to I'm allowed to have fast food) but everything is closed right now and all I have is this king sized bag of peanut M&M's.

I had such an amazing time in Utah and definitely didn't want to leave but I'm excited to get home and get caught up. Be back tomorrow!

Au revoir!

Spring seems to be poking its pretty head around these parts. It's supposed to be sunny and in the 60s all week and weekend which means I'll be...packing all my winter gear and headed to Salt Lake City. Huh?

My girlfriend Jen lives in Utah so we decided to make a Girls Only trip (no lovers, live-in boyfriends, husbands!) and go snowboarding, drink wine, and try to remember what our lives were like before we they became adults.

Oh and have a happy St. Patrick's Day! I'll be spending most of it boozing at the airport. (And hoping the luck of the Irish rubs off on me and I have some interviews lined up for when I return!)

Au revoir!

here comes the sun!

After a cold and super wet weekend we finally have a beautiful warm, sunny day here in NYC. Of course I had gone over to The Boy's last night and had to walk home this afternoon in rain boots, sweatshirt, and a winter puffy jacket. I thought I was going to faint halfway from overheating.

This weather has got me thinking about bike rides, soccer in the park, rooftop bbq's, summer dresses, and bathing suits, bathing suits, bathing suits!

The Shack

I picked up this book a few weeks ago because The Boy and I were having a debate about religion.  I was raised Buddhist, was atheist as a rebellious teenager, and then through my own choice decided to believe in Buddhism again. The Boy questions the existence of a higher being by asking me, "How can there be a God when evils like the holocaust and genocide exist in this world?" Or even what is his purpose in taking his friend away at a young age? I feel at times I've raised those questions and I didn't have the answer.

I was curious to see how the author of The Shack would  approach the topic of God in his novel where the main character, Mack, struggles to believe in God after his daughter was abducted and murdered. I thought it was a good story that touched on faith and forgiveness without referencing the Bible and getting too preach-y and religion-y.

Have you guys read it? What did you think?

members only

I braved the torrential rain, strong winds, and flood warnings last night to meet up with my friend, Care Bears, and her husband who were in NYC for a birthday party. She had recently started reading my blog and throughout the night she made me laugh because after everything we were doing she would ask, "Are you going to go home and blog about this now?"

We met for dinner at Hillstone with 2 other couples and I, of course, was the 7th wheel. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with that. If each event I attend is a measurement of time, well, I've been the token single girl for years now. But as I sat, wedged between 2 couples, turning my head from side to side as if I was at a tennis match, trying to follow their conversation, I felt...well, I felt very aware of my single-ness. The more I couldn't relate to their stories, the more I slunk lower in my seat feeling like there was a blinking neon arrow above my head that says, "Inadequate." I listened to my friends and I thought, "But they haven't changed one bit. They're still the same people I've known and loved for years. Why am I having trouble keeping up with the conversation?"

I think I feel like they've joined a members only club that only lets you in if you've applied for a mortgage, own more than a microwave, and have hosted a dinner party. Meanwhile, I'm still struggling to find a job and don't have enough friends to invite to a dinner party. Soon they'll start having babies and become members of the Mom Club where they'll start saying things like, "You'll understand when you're a mother."

I want to understand. I really do! Think they would let me in with a Sam's club membership? I could borrow my mom's card.




This image has nothing to do with this post but I liked the caption from Jezebel; Always a Bridesmaid, Never Any Pants.

Food, Inc.

Oh my goodness, if you haven't already seen Food, Inc. I recommend that you do. I swear throughout the entire movie I sat there with my jaw hanging open and saying, "Oh my god, no way." I never really thought about the things I eat or where it came from so this movie was really eye-opening. It's sad to see that many people in this country (me included) have to make a choice between nutrition or price.

I fell asleep in the boy's nook and didn't get to see the end of the movie. I went out to dinner last night and while I looked over the menu I thought, "Great, I know what I'm not supposed to eat but I missed the part about what I should be eating." I finally saw the rest of it today and really want to make a conscious effort to change the way I eat and hope that would make a small dent in changing how the food industry operates.

Check out Hungry For Change if you wanna learn how to make positive changes in your eating habits.

movie night

I hadn't seen the boy in a week since I have been sick and he was immobile from a snowboarding injury. It felt much longer than a week since we're used to seeing each other regularly. Without seeing him, I kinda let my insecurities creep in and I started reading into every little thing. (Is he not texting as much? Does he not want to see me?) I knew I was being irrational but we're still in the new stage where absence makes the heart turn psycho.

I finally went to see him late Wednesday night and my crazy thoughts were put to rest. The week apart definitely did us some good, I couldn't keep my hands off of him. : ) We aimed for an Oscars movie marathon but only fit in two. We watched Crazy Heart which I thought was boring and unoriginal but he thought it was great. We also watched An Education which I thought was adorable but he couldn't get over the fact that the relationship between a man in his 30s and a 16 year old girl was unrealistic.

Tonight we're going to eat leftover Chinese and watch Food Inc. and Hurt Locker. Maybe we'll agree on one of these.

Have a great weekend!

a low key night

Last night I went to a book reading downtown with Miss Brit. We patted our backs for finding a non alcohol driven activity that was conducive to our careers. I met some very interesting authors and made some great connections. I'm still not feeling 100% so we planned on having a low key night and catching up. Read: I should learn by now that whenever I'm with Miss Brit and we say "low key night" it always turns out to be anything but. We grabbed a slice of mozzarella pizza and went to visit Little One in the East Village. From there we stopped by the opening night of a new bar called The Collective. Then we headed over to The Standard Grill for some champagne and meat (yum). Then we went to a bar in Turtle Bay for one drink before heading home. That's where I ran into TA which is a subject for another post.

The boy called me to say goodnight and was surprised to hear me shouting in the phone with loud music in the background. "I thought you were home?" He asked. "No, I told you I went to a book reading," I shouted. "Yeah but that was 7 hours ago!" He said.

"Oh, I made a few stops after that," I answered.

knock knock...

I'm back in the grind, and back to the job hunt. I opened my "documents" file on my laptop and saw over 200 saved cover letters. Eeeeeyikes! And I've only had this laptop for about 2 years. My old one (that crashed) probably had over 500. It can be a little disheartening...Will someone please hire me already?? But the I saw this quote (below) that reminded me that this is that path I chose and I'm gonna bang on every door until one friekin opens.

“The door will close on you 900 times,” she said. “So you’ve got to keep your skin tough and your goals very focused. I walk into work every day and know I’m going to be challenged and inspired, and that’s the recipe for happiness in any job.”

Besides, I'm only at 700 doors so I've got a ways to go. : )

advice to writers

I am up and moving about today, ready to get caught up on life and start typing away at the book again. With almost 5 whole sick days I've definitely slacked on the cleaning in my apartment. Before I get back to work I think I'm going to take this advice from Bobulate:

Even if it keeps you up all night,
wash down the walls and scrub the floor
of your study before composing a syllable.

Clean the place as if the Pope were on his way.
Spotlessness is the niece of inspiration.

The more you clean, the more brilliant
your writing will be, so do not hesitate to take
to the open fields to scour the undersides
of rocks or swab in the dark forest
upper branches, nests full of eggs.

When you fiind your way back home
and stow the sponges and brushes under the sink,
you will behold in the light of dawn
the immaculate altar of your desk,
a clean surface in the middle of a clean world.

From a small vase, sparkling blue, lift
a yellow pencil, the sharpest of the bouquet,
and cover pages with tiny sentences
like long rows of devoted ants
that followed you in from the woods.

- Billy Collins

(via Swiss Miss)

pancakes and Oscars

I finally started feeling a little better yesterday. My glands were less swollen and I was able to drink liquids and eat soft food. It was such a gorgeous day here in NYC (50F and sunny), I decided I needed a little au natural vitamin D in my life. I packed some jell-O and ventured out of isolation to meet Miss Brit for a rooftop bbq in Fort Greene. The view, good friends, and the smell of meat was just what I needed but once the sun set and the temperature dropped I knew I had to get home.

On the way, I stopped at the store to pick up some pancake mix. I had been craving random things for days and last night I settled in to watch the Oscars with a nice yummy blueberry pancake dinner.

I hadn't watched the Oscars in full in years and I really enjoyed the show last night. The acceptance speeches are usually my favorite because of the winners' pure emotion and exhilaration. I loved that many of the speeches had a positive message such as following your dream and that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. I also love when the actors thank their partner like when Jeff Bridges thanked his wife. My favorite speech of the night? Sandra Bullock's, of course.

And ahem, who was the be-speckled hottie that presented with J Lo? Sam Worthington from Avatar, I've got my eye on you. ; )



PS. Did J Lo's dress look like bubble wrap to anyone else?

sick and stir crazy

Well, in case you were wondering, I'm still sick and barely moving 5 feet from my bed. My throat is still closed up, I can't open my mouth for more than an inch, haven't been able to eat solid food, and it hurts my throat and mouth too much to speak. It's. The. Pits. Not having health insurance to figure out what's wrong with me is also the pits.

Bionic Woman texted me yesterday to say, "Life isn't very interesting when you're sick." I thought this was pretty funny because I usually text her a million times a day but I just haven't had the energy.

I'm feeling pretty useless right now and going a little stir crazy. I want sunlight and foooooood. Even ice cold water would make me happy right now.

The only bright side of being in bed for 3 days is that I'm all caught up on Season 4 of Dexter. O.M.G. The finale just blew my mind!

Hopefully I can get out of bed and start eating again before the end of the weekend. Hope you guys have a wonderful (and warm!) weekend.

soooo hungry

Hello. I haven't blogged much this week because I've been under the weather. I had tonsillitis the week before and thought I was all better but I didn't let myself fully recuperate and now I'm much worse. :( My throat is so swollen that I can't even eat or drink anything. I'm in so much pain and of course, since I haven't eaten in two days, I'm craving everything under the sun. When I get better I'm going to have eggs, bacon, pancakes, cupcakes, pecan pie, sushi, tuna melt, and rare steak...all in one sitting.



Oh and this sprinkle sandwich for dessert. Yums!

twisted heart

After meeting the boy a little over a month ago no one else has really compared to him. I've been walking around with a silly little smile and missing him the moment I walk out his door. But TA was still calling me and I thought I wouldn't really know if I was over him until I saw him. I met him out for drinks a few weeks ago and found out my answer. Compared to the boy...well, he just didn't. He doesn't listen to anything I say and did the same thing that always bothered me, he walks in front of me instead of beside me, taking my hand. I had declared to myself, and maybe 2 friends, that I was done with him. But recently he called and asked me to dinner. In the two years that we've been seeing each other he's never asked me to dinner. I was curious and I went.

Dinner was strange but mostly because it was not something we do. He did all the right things, he picked the restaurant, made the reservation, ordered for me (which I love). We went to the W hotel, where we met often, for drinks after. We never talk about our relationship but this time the subject came up. He asked me what I wanted. I told him it was never an option to ask anything of him. He said he had changed. He wants to start over and prove himself to me. I sat there not knowing what to say. I was thinking about the boy the entire time. But what do I do? With all that I've been through with TA, I'm curious to see how he would be with me if we really gave it a try. But my feelings for the boy has grown so strong already. Do people really ever change? Is TA too late?

My little heart is twisting and turning.

my weekend...

I had such a lovely weekend. I met a friend at Stanton Social on Friday for some cocktails (I had champagne with mint and sherry) and a tapas dinner filled with some interesting combinations; octopus bruschetta (my fave), french onion soup ouches, mini corn "dogs" (filled with corn, no hotdogs), chicken and waffles, lobster pizza, warm donuts with caramel dipping sauce, and red velvet ding dong. Oh my goodness I was in heaven!

On Saturday, I took the train to Jersey to attend my friend's husband's surprise 30th birthday party. His face when he walked in the room was priceless. I was so upset that I had forgotten my camera battery on the charger at home. I caught up with my favorite girlfriends, imbibed 5 hours of open bar, and ate yummy football shaped cupcakes. My friends had me laughing so much that I actually popped my jaw out of its socket. (Yeah, it hurt). We ended the night with egg sandwiches and a slumber party at my girlfriend's (I will never get too old for slumber parties!).

Now it's back to work and sending out more resumes. Crossing fingers!