my name is nina and I don't drink beer

I arrived in Salt Lake City, Utah at 5PM on St. Patrick's Day. I had been walking around all day holding this gripe in but when I saw my girlfriends I had to vent. I really despise St. Patrick's Day. There, I said it. Maybe I just feel left out because I'm not Irish. Or because I don't like Guinness or any other beer (gasp!). So be it. I abhor everyone's choice in green attire that day. It's like, "Oh, I need to wear green so let me put on this ratty, faded t-shirt that's been in the dryer way too many times." Note: Half shirts are rarely flattering, especially on men. People wear every mismatched shade of green they could find in their closets paired with an ugly plastic shamrock necklace that they saved from last year's bar giveaways. And just like most other holidays (i.e. New Years), but especially St. Paddy's, everyone thinks it's a good idea to get shitfaced before noon and relive their frat boy heydays of college. Read: Red faced men, white long sleeve under too small green t-shirt, backwards baseball cap, ignorant topics of conversation.

As I looked around the bar with my nose wrinkled, my girlfriend, Kate, said to me, "You know, you're no better than them. You have on that stupid neon green bandana around your neck." Perhaps I am no better than them, but my neon bandana is cool. Kate did agree though that "lime green is rarely flattering on anyone."

Anyway, our friend Jen who was hosting us in Utah took us straight to the bar from the airport. St. Paddy's or not, I always need a drink. The bar, Bayou, had more than 20 beers on tap and a longer list of bottled beers. I was dying for a martini but thought I would feel stupid around the people that I thought looked stupid, especially since my girls were traitors also drinking beers. Jen asked me what I wanted and I said I guess I'll have a beer as if I was a child agreeing to eat my vegetables. She told me I could order something else but I said I wanted to fit in. I ordered a Wyld, curious to see what an organic pale ale tasted like. I'll admit it wasn't all that bad but I had a stomach ache for the rest of the night (beer makes me feel so full) and it didn't make me fit in (probably because I said "Ugh" after every sip).

After eating dinner and drinking my one beer (I ordered a chardonnay after that) we went back to the airport to pick up another friend who arrived at 9PM. We went back to Jen's (adorable) house, fed Ann our leftovers, got into our PJ's, drank wine, made fun of each other and gossiped. That's more like it. Now I feel like I fit in.