Thursday, February 5, 2009
And the answer is...
In honor of He's Just Not That Into You coming out this weekend I decided to share my relationship with the book with you guys. A little over a year ago I was seeing this guy....I use the term "seeing" very loosely...He called me perhaps once a month, typically at 3am on a Saturday night...But, still, I was really into him. His signals were just so mixed...we got along amazingly, always had a blast, couldn't stop talking and laughing when we were around each other, and of course the sex was..well...addicting. I felt we were perfect together (I even picked out our wedding song-It's really funny. He doesn't know this).. But he rarely called and didn't seem to want more...Everytime I accepted defeat and came to terms with the fact that he wasn't into me...he would call again leaving me to think that maybe he was into me but just too busy with work and his travel schedule..yada yada..
Every time I went to Barnes and Noble I would see the book on the Bestseller shelf. I thought about checking it out, see what it had to say, but after picking it up and putting it back down a bunch of times, I wouldn't buy it because I didn't want to find out what I was in denial about. That he just wasn't that into me.
Months went by and I was still crazy about the guy but he was still the same, calling me just enough to keep stringing me along. I noticed the book again at B&N and decided to flip through it. The first page I landed on (Page 41) read:
The "But He's Out of Town a Lot" Excuse
I've been seeing this guy for about four months. He goes out of town alot, so we're just doing the casual thing. But then we'll start spending some consistent time together, and jut when I get up the nerve to have a "talk" about where the relationship is going, he has to leave town again....
Dear Time Traveler,
Here's the little secret about some guys who travel: They look forward to leaving. They quite like having the frequent flier miles and the built-in escape hatch. It's hard to hit a moving target. There are ways to travel and be in a relationship , and there are ways to travel and make sure you are out of one. The easy way to know the difference is if the guy tells you all the time how bummed he is that he has to keep leaving you. If he is not making a serious effort to make sure that while he's out of town you don't go out and find someone else, then I think you've just boarded the he's-just-not-into-you jet. Buckle up.
Well, coincidentally, that was exactly the situation I was in. They guy traveled a lot for work and I thought he was into me except he was away so much. After reading the book I think there are a lot of complicated dating situations that are an exception but for the most part it's pretty on point. I would say save yourself $21.95 (hardcover) because if you feel the need to consult the book in the first place, really, that's your answer right there. He's Just Not That Into You.
Posted by Nina at 1:46 AM