Moving Day

Uggggg- Moving Day was absolute hell as I had anticipated. I hired movers, who came an hour late, charged me $40 extra, broke my vase and who knows what else, and made me help carry stuff. It was an extremely exhausting day and just when I was about to shower for work I realized I didn't have a shower curtain. Blast! On top of that I haven't picked up my bed from my mom's yet. So I'll be sleeping on the floor for 3 days. This girl is gonna need a spa day and jug of wine.

Downside of being single: Back itches

I was talking with my girlfriend J the other day and I said that I do love being single, I love my independence, and I just don't have that much time right now to put into a relationship. But I said the only time that I do get a tad lonely and wish I had someone is the moment that I stop everything and lay down to go to sleep. I look over to my side and kinda wish I had someone there next to me. Especially the other night when I had the most excruciating itch in the middle of my back and I laid there, wriggling in my bed, trying my damnest to reach the itch. I thought to myself what a sad sight this must be. I grabbed a pen on my nightstand and was finally able to reach the itch.

I woke up with pen marks all over my back.

What do you guys miss having a boyfriend/girlfriend for?

Soundbites:

Me: I didn't want to date him because I knew I would like him.
Jessy: Spoken like a true single girl.

This Island has gotten too small for me

On my first blind date last week with "S" I ended up finding out that we went to the same college, knew some of the same people, and his roommate turned out to be someone I work with. Ok, definitely small world. For the past week or so I had also been emailing back and forth with 2 other guys who had written me at TONY singles who I found interesting. Through conversation with one of the guys, "M", I learned that he has worked with the other guy who's writing me, but the two of them have no idea that they're both talking to me. OK really? I mean what are the odds of that???

I told Mary this story, because I just couldn't believe my luck, and she replied via email, "8.2 MILLION PEOPLE and Nina manages to be emailed by 2 randoms that know each other through work and apparently don't communicate with each other very well."

What to do? Address the elephant in the room and tell them?

Second First Blind Date

Summary: here

Why is it that only the ones you're not interested in text you the following day to say they had a great time and that they'd love to see you again?

Why is it that the ones you like never call?

VPL?

I was thinking today that my last few relationships have been a bit unhealthy and I think it was partly due to the fact that I was confusing my emotions with physical attraction. I think that if I had taken sex out of the equation I might not have been as into the person. So I decided today, with all the emotional confusion clouding up my head, that I would take a vow of celibacy, for an indefinite amount of time. I ran this plan by Mary and she replied with what I think was a bit of skepticism, "Vow of celibacy? You? What are you serious right now?"

I will only wear stretched out granny panties from now on, just to insure that there will be no temptation.

No deal

I kinda went on an impromptu random date tonight. It was with this guy that I had met almost a month ago but just have been too busy to meet up with. I should add that from past experience, when I've been "too busy", it usually translates to if I liked you enough I'd have time, but with the only free time I have, I prefer to see my girlfriends. I was hammered when I met him, which should be another red flag, I didn't really remember what he looked like or what we even talked about at the bar.

So tonight he sent me a text saying we should grab a drink. Again, I said I was busy packing since I'm moving on Saturday. He said oh come on... And so I felt bad, having blown him off for a while, so I said I was planning on grabbing a quick dinner if he wanted to join me. He met me on the corner of the restaurant and at the very least he did look better than I had remembered. But I had remembered him to be not attractive at all.

We had a quick dinner, and I would say it was pleasant, but I should have gone with my initial gut instinct which was if I had put off seeing him for this long that I wasn't all that into him. To sum it up, he was really sweet. But he blew his nose at the dinner table. That's a deal breaker for me.

Is that what they're calling it these days?

I had the funniest text conversation with this guy I had been "seeing" on and off. By seeing, I mean, I see him, every now and then. Naked. He had heard, through the gossip circuits, about my date the other night. (Backstory: I was spotted at the date's apartment. I said I went up to borrow a book).

He (we'll call him TA) was a little uncomfortable hearing about my private life with others and so I texted him to say we won't bring up that topic again. Here are the texts that followed:

TA: So you're saying I can't come by to "borrow books" anymore? That "date" must have gone well.
Me: So many books out there to be borrowed. Don't worry, your books r my favorite.
TA: Just remember its the quality of "books", not quantity of "books". Some of those new and exciting "books" have ghanaria. ;- )
Me: I'll be sure to pick out a book that doesn't misspell gonorrhea. : )
TA: Well a fellow writer is a good start. Still, I think you spell checked that...I mean I can't spell clamidea either, but I know it burns.
Me: Ha. Well he hasn't called so I won't be returning his books. Don't worry. I put covers on all new books.

Hello, Sexy

Last night, one of our many bar stops was Cellar Bar in Bryant Park Hotel. I had never been there before and when I walked down the stairs into the bar my eyes were immediately drawn to the two girls dancing on a podium above the bar. They were wearing tiny little booty shorts, fishnets, garters, heels, and pasties and dancing their butts off as if it were their job. Well, it was, but you know what I mean. They looked so hot I couldn't take my eyes off them. At one point I was caught exclaiming, "That's like my dream job!"

Ok, it's not really. But still, I would love to have someone in my life that I could surprise with this little outfit and a sexy striptease. Until then, my mirror's the only one catching the show.

Wanna ride with me?

I was just watching a Project Runway rerun on Bravo this morning; the episode where Tim Gunn visits Leann in Portland and she takes him on a bike ride on a tandem bike. Seeing that bike just brought on a flashback of when I was younger and living in Thailand and my dad would take us on beach vacations and me and my 3 siblings would rent tandem bikes and ride it around the resort and inevitably fall a bunch of times. I can just remember the four of us laughing till our stomachs hurt. I can't recall the last time I rode a bike. Le sigh. I miss my siblings. And riding bikes.

Simple formula:

Well, as you know, I ventured off the island last night for a date. I think it went well. I didn't get mugged.

I got a text from Mary at 10:12p.m. that cracked me up:
"Dude ur in Brooklyn? Weird."

Today I gave "A" a brief summary via text:
Me: "Ps- I'm alive."
Me: "It was fun. He had me laughing and he made fun of me a lot."
A: Haha nice. Make fun of her=get to make out with her.

It's that simple.

First Blind Date!

Ok so I've had a few interesting emails come in but one in particular caught my eye. I had been making jokes about how no one who wrote me would write anything about what we had in common or why they chose to write me out of 50 other girls. I was telling my friend, A, that no one would say, "I see that you swim a lot, so do I!" Or anything along those lines. Then I got the first email where the guy mentioned swimming, didn't come off as creepy, and sent a really funny photo to add to it. This guy, S, was the first guy I replied to. We had been emailing back and forth for a few days, and the more he wrote, the more interested I was.

We're finally going for a drink tonight. My first ever blind date. Gulp. Should I be holding a single rose? Would he see me from the door and turn right back around? I'm really excited but as it's getting closer (and I'm still sitting at the computer, haven't showered, with nothing to wear) I'm getting a bit nervous. What if he's not as cute as his picture? What if we run out of things to talk about? We're meeting in Brooklyn. What if I get killed? Haha.

"A" sent me a text saying "don't get drunk." Ok, so I'm going to this date with two Notes To Self.
1) Don't get drunk. (I need to make it home from Brooklyn, alive).
2) Don't sleep with him.

Shit, and I'm in heat. "A" says to masturbate before the date. Hahah. What's that saying? "Don't go out with a loaded gun."

Check.

TONY singles party

Last night I attended the Time Out New York singles party at (Le) Poisson Rouge with my fellow single gals, Brit and Adalhi. The place was packed and I was a bit overwhelmed trying to say hi to people I knew and trying to talk to everyone I was being introduced to. Going there, I didn't know what to expect, but we ended up meeting some really interesting people, including the awesome actor/comedian, Judah Friedlander, and having a blast. (The $3 well drinks really, really helped). Some of the guys came on a bit strong (singles party doesn't mean we're desperate!) and my exit line was usually, "Oh look, I need to go get another drink." Indeed, this came with a price. By the end of the night it almost looked like a game of musical chairs- last man standing in a desperate scramble for last lone person. I didn't want to be someone's last chair- so we stumbled across the street for some 20 cent wings. Mmmm. Who needs love, right?

Happy Valentine's Day!

This Valentine's Day, remember, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. ; )

Thus far, this Valentine's day has turned out to be one of the best ones yet. I love that there is no pressure for me to have a "perfect" romantic day with anyone. I went to the corner store to buy myself some flowers ( tulips, my favorite). Went to Duane Reade to buy some glitter and markers to make some Valentine's for my girlfriends but sadly, all they had were crappy crayons and no construction paper! I had to make due with the supplies I had at home. Got some roses from my girl, A, and chocolates from my friend, Tim. What more could a girl ask for?

Hmm. I do miss having someone in my life who gives me butterflies. Instead, I got a butterfly! (Another awesome gift from a thoughtful friend). Look ma, no hands! Ok, maybe don't look.

Maybe I wouldn't end up as a cat lady after all. I could deal with being a Rabbit & Butterfly lady. Hehe.



(my homemade cards)

First Responders:

I got my first response to the TONY singles story at 11:30 a.m. today. The issue just hit stands today! I had to wonder about this guy. I mean, it's almost like calling the same night that you got someone's number. Sniff sniff. I smell a little desperation. My instinct was right. This guy wrote like an entire essay about himself. Paragraphs! I scrolled to the bottom waiting to see something that would explain why he chose to write to me out of 50 other girls. Something along the lines of, "I saw that you like to swim, me too!" Or "I've been looking for a girl who has balls I can bust!" Any type of connection! Instead, he wrote all about himself AND included a picture of himself. I'm not one to rule out suitors for looks, but he was wearing a ribbed turtleneck sweater! Read: I like my condoms ribbed. Not sweaters.

Later I got a text from a fellow TONY single. She said she got her first reply. I said, let me guess, was his name P? Sure enough, same guy.

My next response seemed more normal. At least it was shorter and he actually wrote my name instead of "To Whom it May Concern." But that's about all I can give him credit for. His email read:

Nina,

I saw your ad on TONY and wanted to get to know you. However, I am a bit puzzled why a woman who has so much to offer needs to advertise. I am just curious.

K

Dear K,
First of all, it's not an ad. I did not pay money to put my profile in the magazine. So I wouldn't call it an ad nor would I say I'm advertising. I'm more like fish that's starting to go bad so they sell me as Saturday night's special. I'm here if you want it. I won't last long.

Now my question to you. If you have anything at all to offer, I wonder why do you need to respond to an ad? Just curious.

Undomestic Goddess Seeking...

...good conversation, sarcastic banter, someone to play with my hair and pay my rent. (Joking a little bit about the rent part).

(hating the picture btw)

Up for the challenge? Email me at nina@tonypersonals.com

Missed Connection....

I was in the elevator in my building yesterday when a hot guy got on. This is very rare in my building. Usually everyone is very old, very smelly, and has really gross toenails. Of course I avoided eye contact and didn't say hello. Then I saw him again waiting for the same train. He came up and introduced himself, James I think, and we chatted for 3 too-short stops. Where has this bearded hottie been in the past 6 months that I've lived in this building? (I have a thing for beards).

Hi James (I think)- You have very nice teeth. Find me on the 7th floor.

Holy Cuuuuuute!!!

How cute was Miley Cyrus's Max Azria dress at the Grammy's?


And speaking of cute...How funny are my nephew's expressions???




Cute snow? Ok it's not cute per se...I just thought it was pretty. Snowfall from my brother's balcony in London. Le sigh.

Scary...

I've been a little behind before...but my inbox is just ridiculous. Help!

i-rabbit

I wonder if it's so blatantly obvious when I'm on line at CVS, buying C batteries at 10pm, that it's for my rabbit. What else do people use C batteries for? I was trying to think of the answer, should anyone ask. I've had my rabbit since college. I wonder if there's an upgraded version. Perhaps they don't even need batteries anymore. Maybe now you can charge it on your computer like an ipod. I'm gonna have to look into that.

Later, a text from my trusty friend, Mary:
C batteries fit in flashlights.

Thanks love!

Moving on up!

I've been looking at apartments all weekend, not something I was looking forward to at all. The first apartment I went to look at, a studio on 81st and York, I waited 15 minutes, and the landlord never showed up. What a great start. My next appointment was with a broker at 3pm. I decided to call him 10 minutes before getting there since my last appointment flaked on me. The broker answered the phone and was like, "Who is this? I have an appointment with you when?" He had no idea who I was or that we had made an appointment. I have a bad feeling about this...

But he apologized and met up with me a half an hour later and I was pleasantly surprised. He was much hotter than his work profile picture. I was hoping he would show me a little more than the apartments, if you know what I mean, but unfortunately, he remained professional. A girl could still fantasize about getting it on on the hardwood floor in the middle of an empty apartment. *grin.

Ok, aside from checking out hot broker's ass, I saw some really great apartments. I'm putting in an application for a luxury doorman building with a pool, gym, and the most amazing view of the East River ever. Cross your fingers for me!

Undomestic Goddess Seeking Love

A guy I used to "date" told me today," I could never live with you. You have too much clutter."

Ouch.

And the answer is...

In honor of He's Just Not That Into You coming out this weekend I decided to share my relationship with the book with you guys. A little over a year ago I was seeing this guy....I use the term "seeing" very loosely...He called me perhaps once a month, typically at 3am on a Saturday night...But, still, I was really into him. His signals were just so mixed...we got along amazingly, always had a blast, couldn't stop talking and laughing when we were around each other, and of course the sex was..well...addicting. I felt we were perfect together (I even picked out our wedding song-It's really funny. He doesn't know this).. But he rarely called and didn't seem to want more...Everytime I accepted defeat and came to terms with the fact that he wasn't into me...he would call again leaving me to think that maybe he was into me but just too busy with work and his travel schedule..yada yada..

Every time I went to Barnes and Noble I would see the book on the Bestseller shelf. I thought about checking it out, see what it had to say, but after picking it up and putting it back down a bunch of times, I wouldn't buy it because I didn't want to find out what I was in denial about. That he just wasn't that into me.

Months went by and I was still crazy about the guy but he was still the same, calling me just enough to keep stringing me along. I noticed the book again at B&N and decided to flip through it. The first page I landed on (Page 41) read:

The "But He's Out of Town a Lot" Excuse

Dear Greg,
I've been seeing this guy for about four months. He goes out of town alot, so we're just doing the casual thing. But then we'll start spending some consistent time together, and jut when I get up the nerve to have a "talk" about where the relationship is going, he has to leave town again....

the response:
Dear Time Traveler,
Here's the little secret about some guys who travel: They look forward to leaving. They quite like having the frequent flier miles and the built-in escape hatch. It's hard to hit a moving target. There are ways to travel and be in a relationship , and there are ways to travel and make sure you are out of one. The easy way to know the difference is if the guy tells you all the time how bummed he is that he has to keep leaving you. If he is not making a serious effort to make sure that while he's out of town you don't go out and find someone else, then I think you've just boarded the he's-just-not-into-you jet. Buckle up.

Well, coincidentally, that was exactly the situation I was in. They guy traveled a lot for work and I thought he was into me except he was away so much. After reading the book I think there are a lot of complicated dating situations that are an exception but for the most part it's pretty on point. I would say save yourself $21.95 (hardcover) because if you feel the need to consult the book in the first place, really, that's your answer right there. He's Just Not That Into You.

*frown.

Another day down the drain...

Ok so I know I said I'd start being positive today and that I'd follow Stephen Covey's Seven Habits and start acting like I am the kind of person who has their shit together. Well, apparently I'm not a very good actor. I'm not sure when my shit will start getting together.

Everyone I encountered today was an enormous Asshole. Why do I let people get to me so? Not to mention my heart still aches a little. I am a tremendously impatient person and wish moving on would speed up just a little.

I came home tonight and, for the first time in a few years, I decided to take a bath to calm down. First, I had to scrub the tub. I used a bath ball from LUSH that I had bought in December as a Christmas gift to myself. It smells like peppermint, shimmers in the water, and is supposed to relax your muscles. The bathwater was still slightly on the brown side (try to ignore this)...but it sparkled (!) and smelled so good. I turned off the lights, lit a candle, and listened to my Ella Fitzgerald cd. Mmmm. Inhale. Exhale. Breeeeeeathe.....

I drained the bath and hope all of today's stress went down the drain with the sparkly brown water. I forget the point of this blog. OH...that you should go out and get yourself a fizzy bathball from LUSH! It's fantastic! And also to say I'm ready to let today go and start over tomorrow.

My skin itches a little. (Let's try to ignore that).

Stupid Pickup Line # A Million

Stupid Guy: Hey, I'll bet you your phone number that you're mixed.
Me: Well that's pretty obvious.
SG: You owe me your phone number!

Later on...
Same Stupid Guy: Sooo, what part of you is Asian?
Me: Half of it.

Sibling Love

I was having a Starbucks coffee the other day and for the first time ever I read the little "The Way I See It" quote on the side of the cup. #59 read:

"Having two older brothers is a healthy reminder that you're always closer to the bottom than you are to the top." -- Andy Roddick

This quote had me chuckling to myself, being the youngest of four siblings, they were always there to remind me that I wasn't very cool, I didn't know everything, and that my parents found me on the mountains of Thailand and took pity.

My siblings have definitely made me stronger and most likely caused me to be the determined and competitive person that I am because I was always trying to prove myself to them. Today they are just the opposite; whenever I feel like I'm at rock bottom they are always there to pick me right back up.

C'est La Vie

(Image Via Catchcan)

So coming off a crappy weekend, I spent most of yesterday hibernating in my apartment, mostly in bed. I said, "I'll be positive tomorrow. Today, I just want to spend I little more quality time with my friend, Depression."

And then I got a phone call. I was getting the pink slip- from my boyfriend. Le sigh. Add that to my list. Dumped by #217. It seemed like something that was coming anyway, if I were to be realistic, which I don't have a tendency of being, but it never hurts any less. Yet another person in this world who could do without me.

I talked to a handful of my wonderful friends and their words of encouragement brought back my smile. Here are some texts and messages I received:

M: Well, now you can be footloose and fancy free! : )
R: Welcome back!
E: get back on the prowl...no single man in nyc is safe now!
T: Good riddance!
G: You know, I'm single too *wink.

C'est la vie. I'll be OK. Luckily for me, I've had a lot of experience in this department.

Little Boobies Rock!

(Image Via Smitten)
So boobies have been on my mind a bit lately. After my last post about my friends getting boob jobs, and how sometimes I wonder what I would look like if I had them, my friends jokingly egged me on to get them. At least, I hope they were joking. Like I said, I've grown to love my little girls. But then my friend H showed me hers the other day, and I was like, "dammit, yours are better." Then I came across this article on Glamour's blog, Smitten, and finally, someone agrees with me that little boobies rock!

I would love to have a boob job for like a day, just to see what it feels like to actually fill out a shirt. I wish they had something like that. Kinda like temporary tattoos. Until then, I'm sticking with my little girls and loving them!

I'm going to buy earplugs today

I've absolutely had it! When I first moved into my apartment between 5th and Madison Avenue I was amazed by how quiet it was. It's on a busy street, there's a club next door, and I have a lot of neighbors. Suddenly, 5 months later....all I hear is noise! A baby crying down on the street (I'm on the 7th floor!), bass from the club, maintenance guys taking out the recycling, my neighbor vacuuming and playing music, people talking loudly at the elevator (right outside my door). Lately, 2 apartments are being renovated on my floor, and I live in between the two. The hammering, and sawing, and drilling, and worst of all, the workers talking and singing so loudly! I can't take it anymore!

I filed a noise complaint.

I officially feel like a crotchety old spinster.

Crappy Weekend

I was pretty down on my luck this weekend. I went out late on Thursday night with a bunch of my friends and some low class fucker stole my blackberry and my money out of my purse. To say I was enraged is an understatement. On top of that, the following morning was my mom's birthday and I couldn't even call her to wish her a Happy Birthday because I didn't have a phone or her number. I got home a little after 5am and had to wake up by 10am the next morning for work. I reeked of vodka and was still legally drunk.

I was reading this book by Beth Lisick today called Helping Me Help Myself. The author is a skeptic who spends a year helping herself by reading self-help books. She was talking about the Seven Habits, part of the better yourself plan by Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Life Change, which is described as the following:

Part of the Seven Habits master plan is to simply start acting like you are the kind of person who has your shit together, remembering not to put personality before character. Pg 28

She goes on the describe, in her own words, the first habit:

Habit 1: Be Proactive
The basic idea here is that you are responsible for your own life. Don't be the kind of person who is in a crappy mood because it's too windy outside (guilty!) or your coworker prattles on about her baby shower and it's enraging (gahhh!!!). Bring your own weather with you. You can't control how other people treat you, but you do have the power to control your response to them. Always remember: in this life, you get to be you. I don't know if Covey would endorse this part, but whenever somebody is a jerk to me, I always think, At least I am me while that asshole has to spend his whole life being him.

Tomorrow, after a weekend of wallowing in self-pity and being so mad at people for being such low-lifes, I will start to be proactive.

So back to Friday. I was working at the bar, still drunk, still completely pissed off, when a gentleman sitting at the bar starting making small talk with me. We didn't talk about anything particularly important, just the general Where are you from, What do you do, and so on and of course I mentioned getting robbed the night before. I realized while talking to him that I must have sounded like the biggest mess, someone with really shitty luck who was always feeling sorry for herself. That's not completely far from the truth I suppose. Anyway, was completely engaged in the conversation (you ever just have really great conversations anymore?), and thought perhaps there are still a few decent people in the world. Later on in the day he returned with a promo pack from his work (he mentioned it in conversation) and a lottery ticket for me, to try to help turn my luck around. How genuinely nice is that??? And while he was there he got in a conversation about cupcakes with my coworker, said he was on his way to pick up some for his kids, and he returned with some red velvet cupcakes for the staff! See, lesson learned, people buy you things when you complain a lot.

No, just kidding! I really was touched by a stranger's kindness. Perhaps there are a few good people left in this world.