Tuesday, May 19, 2009

May 9: Me v. Mom & Mosquitoes

I kept waking up through the night feeling like I was going to sweat to death. Maybe I am dead. It’s definitely as hot as I imagined hell to be.

I was looking forward to being woken up at dawn by the roosters but grandma doesn’t keep the animals anymore. They became too much work for her. Instead, the Thook Gaa (gecko) that lives in the kitchen, that’s directly below the bedroom, was the morning wake up call. It was so loud I thought it was coming from inside the moong (mosquito net).

I had to pee so bad in the morning but held it, afraid the mosquitoes would attack me in the darkness.

It’s only 6:30 AM. I try to go back to sleep. Mom calls me downstairs to help her funnel water into the well. We look like a Simple Life spoof.

I try to go back to bed. Was going to listen to my ipod but then I thought why am I adding noise to this quiet? When do I get to hear cicadas so loud that it sounds like a nature soundtrack turned up high. No ambulances. No fire trucks. Just the cicadas, birds, gecko, oscilating fan…zzzzzzz.

8 AM Am scooping ants out of my coffee with a spoon. Grandma shakes her head and says, “You never minded ants in your coffee when you were a kid.” I tell her I didn’t drink coffee when I was a kid.

8:30 AM Mom turns on awful oldies karaoke music for background noise. I much prefer the cicadas which is now drowned out by Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, You Are My Sunshine, and Mr. Postman.

Down below on the streets I can hear cowbells from the cows walking down to feed by the dam. Kids are riding their bikes. I miss running around on the dirt roads with my siblings.

9:30 AM Started reading Second Chances by Jane Green. I haven’t read a chick lit in quite some time. I wanted something mindless and easy. Mom tells me to get in the shower and do something instead of laying around. She has done this ever since I was younger and it drives me nuts. I would wake up on a lazy Saturday afternoon, snuggle in my bed and read a book. She would always poke her head in the room and say, “Since you aren’t doing anything, could you (insert annoying chore here)?”

Mom sits down next to me and scratches her mosquito bite. I HATE the sound of dry skin being scratched! I get in the shower.

10 AM Shower out of the well. It’s not as bad as I had remembered. Maybe because last time it was winter and the water was freezing. It’s quite refreshing in this heat. And it only takes 5 minutes. I remember when I was younger thinking the well was so big. Now it only goes up to mid thigh. I remember showering with my sister, taking turns splashing water over each other’s heads to wash the shampoo out. We would scream at the jolt of coldness after each splash.

10:30 AM Found old photos of my mom’s grad school graduation. My dad is in the pictures with her. She looks like a movie star.

Also found an album of my brother’s baby pictures. He looks adorable playing in the pool with my mom. I can see in the pictures how much she loves him.

11:30 AM Drove to town to get a massage. Mom tells stories of how she had to walk kilos and kilos to go to her school sporting matches. *Must figure out kilos to miles conversion.

12 PM Mom tells me massage is 2 hours. I look at my watch as if I don’t have the time to waste on relaxation. I’m still in my New York mind set. Need to learn how to relax. Massage costs 240 Baht ($8) for 2 hours.

Masseuse askes me if I’m pregnant. (Read: Need to lose weight!)

Masseuse tells mom she should enter me in the Miss Thailand pageant. Mom tells masseuse I’m too fat. Shoot mom daggers with my eyes.

2 PM Lunch: Gai Yang (grilled chicken), sticky rice, larb moo, som tam Lao.

3:30 PM Mom takes me to visit our former maid, Pi Dum. (Mom asks her if she thinks I look fat. Mom looks surprised when I try to strangle her). I loved her so much I always asked my mom if I could sleep in her room with her. She always took care of me as if I were her own. She helped save my moms life 16 years ago.

3:45 PM Mom takes grandma to get her hair colored. Mom is getting her nails done. She is on cell phone while the girl is waiting for her phone hand. I tell her she’s being rude.

I’m getting eaten alive by mosquitoes and think I might pass out from the heat.

6 PM I think I’ve reached my limit with my mom. For the day at least.

7:30 PM A quick noodle dinner (Senleg nua) and guava for dessert.

8:30 PM Retreat to the moong because the bugs are attacking me. The beetles get zapped by the light, fall on me, and freak out.

Asleep by 9 PM.

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